An old girl whose special affinity
was rhyme with excess alkalinity
was amazed to be shown
a whole new lexicon;
It was almost like losing her marbles.

CT

A female acquaintance of Hobbes
Says "Yes, he was nasty," through sobs,
"And sad to report
Too British and short--
But I loved how he twisted my words.

Three limericks

Stinky pits to the shower must go
Before filth and fungus do grow
Stomach is churning
Eyes have been burning
When the wind by this way does blow


I never have time to go pee
Now don't you feel sorry for me?
I often get stuck
without any luck
The toilet paper's no place I can see.


Why do dogs hump your leg with joy
Like you are some kinky sex toy
A boot to the butt
Will shape up the mutt
Unless thats the kind of thing you enjoy.

Well, since M posted some limericks, not limeroids, I'll drink from the fingerbowl as well and make her feel at home with these:

HISTORY

If only the doctor, Hippocrates,
Had been there to help out when Socrates
..... Drank hemlock he might
..... Have lived through the night
Though his enemies gathered to mock and tease.


CASEY'S RETURN

With arms that still reach for the walls
I swing at a pitch, but it falls
..... Away from my bat
..... And then, just like that,
The count is three strikes and no balls.

THE FIRST POET

It's fun to enjoy a monopoly.
It lets you kick back and write sloppily.
..... But when others can do it
..... Better than you it's
Time to denounce oligopoly.

DIRTY LIMERICK

The shah bought no bras for his harem
Since he wouldn't let his wives wear ‘em.
..... "Each night I must pick
..... Just one, and the trick
Is keeping them bare to compare ‘em."

[This message has been edited by Roger Slater (edited February 20, 2002).]

Make that a "Shah", Roger? Kings don't have harems.

jejeje

(music)

Thanks, Bear. I guess I don't want to be a king after all. "Shah" has a nicer assonance with "bras" anyway.

*DUR* Okay now I SEE the game!!! Thanks Roger for drinking with me. "Cheers!"

There once was an eager young poet
Who thought she'd take a go at it
New to the place
Fell on her face
But what a nice view of the ceiling.

Closer? I didn't see any "rules"

Mel,

The "rules", such as they are, appended to the birth of the Limeroid in another thread.

Basically, all we're doing is writing a dirty limerick, where the last word is the dirty word, then replacing it with a total non-sequitur, the more ridiculous the better. So, in my limeroid:

That horny Hornblower, Horatio,
to his cabin perversely palatial
was wont to invite
the midshipmite
for a little light evening housekeeping.

the missing rhyme word would be (I blush to say it aloud) "fellatio".

Some folks are spinning off and doing limeroids that aren't dirty at all, but why bother? The fun of the thing is to sneak something obscene past the censor, if ya know what I mean?

Hope this helps.

(music)

Ha haa HA ha ha ha HA! That puts an entirely new light on this subject. *double dur* on me I didn't even see it!!!
ANOTHER try.

When I was young I had me a duck
Who in a tarpit fell and got stuck
I pulled on his tail
he let out a wail
Smacked me on the head and said you dumb cucumber.


Okay, yeah it's pretty simplistic...but at least I've figured out the game. Unless there was another rule I don't know about.

Ha haa HA ha ha ha HA! That puts an entirely new light on this subject. *double dur* on me I didn't even see it!!!
ANOTHER try.

When I was young I had me a duck
Who in a tarpit fell and got stuck
I pulled on his tail
he let out a wail
Smacked me on the head and said you dumb cucumber.


Okay, yeah it's pretty simplistic...but at least it's kinda bad.
I think I'm in over my head here!!!