I share Roger's concern with the one-sidedness of this relationship, where the speaker assumes the starring role and assigns the beloved a strictly, explicitly supporting role. It's sort of like, "I love you like the statue loves its pedestal." But I found this more amusing than annoying, and wished the poem showed some awareness of the irony of the conceit. It's conceivable that in the context of an actual relationship (or in a sequence of poems) it would be clearly ironic, whereas in isolation it seems to take itself a little too seriously.

I like Tim's point about weaving sentences through the structure. The poem really is rhythmically masterful, no false steps.

Though the poem is technically very well made, I found it too sweet; I think a pinch of
bemusement or even self-mockery would make for a more interesting flavor, and be more effective.

There have been some good comments above, and I endorse most of them, positive and negative. I have the following to add.

The metaphor begins with feet and floor, then, in L5, N's counterpart switches from the feet to the whole ballerina and it slips into a relationship between ballerina and floor.

The relationship, as stated in L1, is one of love, so I'm not sure about eliciting one of its characteristics in L14 as being like love.

L3 and L4 are a vivid description of a ballerina's feet in action.

John

I agree with Frank--very good idea for the last line

[Change of mind]

There's an intriguing metaphor here (more intriguing than "wind beneath my wings," I think), and some of the imagery is compelling. I can't decide about the last line; Frank's idea makes a lot of sense, but so does the original.

But I was really thrown by something John noticed: the shift, in L5, from the feet to the whole ballerina.

Best,
Jean

As a rhetorical strategy, contrasting the octave and the sestet with the feet and the floor--a solid adversative commencing the sestet--shows a craft-conscious mind at work. The craftsmanship is further born out by the sinuous weave of sentences.

On the other hand, the critters concerned about N's emotional posture apparently would prefer a whiff of irony or hint of mockery; but that class of commentary strikes me as somewhat subjective and reflects a discomfort with plain-spoken language. Are we, as poets, too far gone down the Ironic Road not to admire an unalloyed statement of affection? The craft in choice of subject and the craft in sentence shaping tells me this is a poet engaged with the formal tools I'm engaged with.

John's observation is insightful, but the progression from feet upward to the whole body strikes me as formally appropriate.

Frank's suggestion is spot on.

The best so far for me.

Lance

Thanks to everyone for their comments. This was my attempt at a Metaphysical sonnet, and it was meant to be funny to compare one partner to the floor. But as I noticed the first time I posted it and again this time, most readers seem to miss the reason I wrote it in the first place, which is that the key characteristic of a ballerina's feet in relation to the floor is how much of the time they are off it. This is meant to be about a long-term long-distance relationship, so it focuses on the effort and difficulty that onlookers don't see. But it is also about the cost of art and the kind of partner who can help to make it possible. In ballet "partnering" refers to the male dancer's chief role, which is to hold and lift the ballerina while most eyes are on her.

In terms of Frank's suggestion about the last line, all I can say is that, to me, love is the bond between two people, and trust is the give that keeps it from becoming a stranglehold.

Susan

Ah, that's very interesting Susan! I never caught the long-distance element, but now that you explain it I can see how it fits. I was in a long-term, long-distance relationship with my wife before (and after!) we got married until I could immigrate to the U.S. The effort and art of maintaining such a relationship is definitely akin to how you describe the ballerina and the male dancer.

As you know, this was my favorite of the bunch, and I'm glad to see that there's yet another level to it than what most or all of us initially saw. Well done!