View Single Post
  #12  
Unread 04-28-2012, 09:22 PM
Jean L. Kreiling Jean L. Kreiling is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Massachusetts, USA
Posts: 1,048
Default

I find this appealing in a number of ways; I especially like the idea in the first few lines, and later, the ocean's big, heaving, but non-wild breaths, which we feel as much as see. But I found myself wishing that the focus on touch (introduced at the start) had remained the focus; I didn't quite follow the shift to sound (with the "singers"). In the penultimate line, "windily and wild" works as music, but is grammatically quirky. Still, this casts a spell, as fine poetry does.

Best,
Jean
Reply With Quote