Much has been written about waking up from religion. Using the experience of blindness as descriptive of the waking as a physical actuality works more thoroughly. It plays on the simple reality there is more than one type of blindness clearly and forcefully. The metaphor of blindness is throughout the Hebrew Bible and the New Testament. Often it's either as destructive self-will or as a punishment and you incorporate both.
Cursed Eve naming all the things god cursed only because she wanted knowledge is pretty brilliant. "Bedraggled birds" might be a bit much but it does the job. Ending with what are the "still-sighted" but also blind on the remnants of the Flood makes for good imagery. The Eve metaphor is fairly well stretched by then and, although it is a sentence, "she" did not immediately bring Eve to my mind. Maybe it's a benefit to spending a second going back to the top?
I may be wrong with my reading. If so forgive me. The sounds work well. The alliteration isn't too obvious except for the "bedraggled birds." The double "shall" in the last line is great.
It's another good one. I hope the series is developing faster than what's been posted. I'd like to read all of them in a series.
|