I enjoyed this and think it has lots of potential, though in some areas it seems more of a draft to me than a finished poem.
'Fingers' and 'singers' are not rhymes where I live and appear to encourage the reader to mispronounce 'singers'. However, I realise in other parts of the world for all I know they may be good rhyme. 'By' and 'inside' are not good rhyme, though you could argue they are near rhymes.
I read it through as prose first to get the sense of it and in doing so picked up a missing comma at the end of L2.
I think that L6 is missing one definite article, arguably two ('my keys in the darkness').
I didn't care for some of the enjambment: 'seething/blackness' and 'each/heave' did not flow at all naturally with the line breaks to my ear.
Nits aside, as I said I think this has a lot of potential and I did like the breathlessness that others have mentioned.
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