I've read this poem several times over and my initial reaction was, "How nice!" Some nice metaphors, a terrific ending. But after a few reads, the weaknesses became apparent. David put it exactly as I would: it seems like a draft (for now), albeit a very good one. But with some revision it has the potential to be spectacular.
Last edited by Catherine Chandler; 04-29-2012 at 04:51 PM.
Reason: superfluous verb!
|