[Gail White]

Delighted to see that Peter Moltoni came out on top with his Heine translation. As you may recall, he also got the DG nomination for best poem in the sonnet bake-off.

Andrew, one of my favorite Heine translations is actually by Elizabeth Browning - the part of it I remember goes like this:

My child, we were two children,
Small, merry by childhood's law.
We used to play in the henhouse
And hide ourselves in the straw.

...
Our neighbor's old cat often
Came to pay us a visit.
We made her a bow and a curtsey,
Each with a compliment in it.

After her health we asked,
Our care and regard to evince.
(We have made the very same speeches
To many an old cat since).

[Pedro Poitevin]

I'm very sorry I couldn't participate more in this wonderful bake-off. Andrew's critiques were truly exemplary. I especially regret not having commented on Cathy's translation of Mistral, but also on all other entries. Congratulations to Peter and to all the others, and many thanks to Adam and Andrew,

Pedro.

[Spindleshanks]

Gail, thank you.

Here, for your interest, is the original Heine and EBB's fine translation, carefully replicating Heine's rhyme and metre pattern, down to the feminine unrhymed 1st and 3rd lines:

Mein Kind, wir waren Kinder,
Zwei Kinder, klein und froh;
Wir krochen ins Hühnerhäuschen,
Versteckten uns unter das Stroh.

Wir krähten wie die Hähne,
Und kamen Leute vorbei -
Kikereküh! sie glaubten,
Es wäre Hahnengeschrei.

Die Kisten auf unserem Hofe
Die tapezierten wir aus,
Und wohnten drin beisammen,
Und machten ein vornehmes Haus.

Des Nachbars alte Katze
Kam öfters zum Besuch;
Wir machten ihr Bückling und Knickse
Und Komplimente genug.

Wir haben nach ihrem Befinden
Besorglich und freundlich gefragt;
Wir haben seitdem dasselbe
Mancher alten Katze gesagt.

Wir saßen auch oft und sprachen
Vernünftig, wie alte Leut
Und klagten, wie alles besser
Gewesen zu unserer Zeit;

Wie Lieb und Treu und Glauben
Verschwunden aus der Welt,
Und wie so teuer der Kaffee,
Und wie so rar das Geld! - - -

Vorbei sind die Kinderspiele,
Und Alles rollt vorbei -
Das Geld und die Welt und die Zeiten,
Und Glauben und Lieb und Treu.

Heinrich Heine


My child, we were two children,
Small, merry by childhood's law.
We used to creep to the henhouse
And hide ourselves in the straw.

We crowed like cocks, and whenever
The passers near us drew—
“Cock-a-doodle!” they thought
‘Twas a real cock that crew.

The boxes about our courtyard
We carpeted to our mind,
And lived there both together—
Kept house in a noble kind.

The neighbor's old cat often
Came to pay us a visit;
We made her a bow and courtesy,
Each with a compliment in it.

After her health we asked,
Our care and regard to evince—
(We have made the very same speeches
To many an old cat since).

We also sat and wisely
Discoursed, as old folks do,
Complaining how all went better
In those good old times we knew;—

How love, and truth, and believing
Had left the world to itself,
And how so dear was the coffee,
And how so rare was the pelf.

The children’s games are over,
The rest is over with youth—
The world, the good games, the good times,
The belief, and the love, and the truth.

Elizabeth Barrett Browning.


Thank you for drawing it to my attention.

Peter

[R. Nemo Hill]

Yes, great job, Andrew.

Nemo

[Anna M Evans]

I am currently on residency at VCCA (where, incidentally, my secondary project has been to work on more Marceline Desbordes-Valmore translations) and so I have been able to check in here only sporadically.

I did read every entry, however, and was impressed by the variety and quality. (Don't forget that The Raintown Review DOES publish translations, people!)

Thanks for the vote of confidence in my work--I shall definitely be taking the criticisms into account as I revise. (That last line is a bitch! I know what it means but...I'm considering rendering it as an Alexandrine because I need the syllables!)

Finally, huge thanks to Andrew Frisardi for tremendous and detailed feedback, delivered with grace and diplomacy!

[Alex Pepple]

My highest compliments to Andrew for being one of our most engaged and engaging DGs!

Congratulations to all the winners and finalists ... and thank you to all the participants!

Cheers,
...Alex