[Marion Shore]

POSTCARD

A glint of sunset on a waterfront
largely devoid of ships—a blue expanse
of water and the same old famous skyline—
a scene that is and isn’t what I want
to see tonight, or to experience
with seagulls, dogs, and joggers. Past the shoreline
of stunted plants and patchy grass, the water,
the closest thing to everywhere there is,
moves sluggishly away, its complement
of floating trash as well. And what’s the matter
stays obvious, the linkage clear as this
impassibility, impediment
of miles of waves and storms sequestering
me from you, this land from everything.


In general my feeling is that a poem should be accessible, if not after one, then maybe a few readings. For me, this poem was the exception. My first reaction was: "WTF! This is a sonnet?" Plus, I've never met an unrhymed sonnet I liked. But there was a certain something about the piece that made me go back for a second, a third reading… And the more I read it, the more effective and affecting I found it.

The title immediately sets up an irony – although we don't necessarily expect to see "wish you were here," the bleak descriptions that follow are not exactly what you'd expect on your average postcard!

The first line, "a glint of sunset on a waterfront" starts out with an image we might well see on a postcard. But we soon learn this is a waterfront "largely devoid of ships" … The "blue expanse of water," "the same old famous skyline," express the disillusionment and alienation the narrator feels in the midst of this apparently attractive tourist spot. "It's a scene that is and isn't what [he/she] want[s] to see." Apparently N. came here already burdened with malaise (perhaps to escape it) which colors (or rather, drains of color) his/her perception of the surroundings. Instead of being part of the liveliness, the seagulls, the dogs, the joggers, N. sees "the stunted plants and grass" "the sluggish water with its complement of floating trash" – and "what's the matter" is expressed in the concluding lines: "the impediment of miles of waves, the storms sequestering/me from you, this land from everything."

The power and expressiveness of the poem are achieved not only by the stark, bleak imagery, but by an underlying structure that is, despite my first impression, quite tight and formal. And yes, my dear DG, as a matter of fact, it does rhyme – subtly, to be sure – the rhyme pattern is unconventional, as are the surprising rhymes – all of which give the poem a tightness, a structure, a cohesiveness, which is no less effective for its subtlety.

And, strangely enough, the sentiment "wish you were here" is expressed in this postcard, which the addressee, one supposes, will never see.

[Elise Hempel]

I really like this one. The language isn't overextended. It has images. And feeling.

[E. Shaun Russell]

There is an understated beauty to this one, and in both tone and language, I'm favorably reminded of a snippet from Hart Crane's "The Bridge."

I get a feeling of loneliness from the poem, but its beauty is in the knowledge that the loneliness is only because the N's love is simply not there to share the experience. Had the loved one been there, the various images would surely be described in a more vibrant, lustrous way.

The subtlety here is what makes it so fantastic. It's truly a poem that demonstrates an experienced heart and hand, and I'm looking forward to reading more of the poet's work, whoever he or she may be.

[Janice D. Soderling]

Yep, me too. I like it a lot.

[Woody Long]

The DG is right. It took me a couple of rereads to get into the poem & Lo! There it is.

— Woody

[Gail White]

My problem with reading poems is that I think too much -- I keep trying to figure out where this is (famous skyline - NYC? Istanboul?) and where the speaker is. The water is moving away, so the tide is presumably going out... Or (I like this notion) the speaker is on a ship, seeing the skyline head on but water intervening...

Anyway, favorite line -- the water that is "the closest thing to everything" there is.

[Catherine Chandler]

Very much enjoyed. One of my top three for sure.

[E. Shaun Russell]

Originally Posted by Gail White

Anyway, favorite line -- the water that is "the closest thing to everything" there is.

Definitely. An obvious allusion that is used with such subtlety. Now that's how to write.

[Roger Slater]

This isn't exactly unrhymed, at least not in the sense that the poet did not have a sonic scheme in mind for the end words.

waterfront/want
skyline/shoreline
experience/expanse
water/matter,
is/this
complement/impediment
sequestering/everything.

[E. Shaun Russell]

Originally Posted by Roger Slater

This isn't exactly unrhymed, at least not in the sense that the poet did not have a sonic scheme in mind for the end words.

I was confused by that comment too, though the DG amends it near the end of the post.