[Elise Hempel]

I'm going to sort of disagree here. I like sonnet #9 better, because of its more subtle rhyme and approach and feeling. This sonnet seems much more deliberate, and I think the rhymes in the octave are too exact and obvious, making them ring too loudly for me. I don't like to be quite so aware that I'm reading "a sonnet." But here I'm aware. Just my style maybe.

[Siham Karami]

I love this sonnet. Powerful, moving, beautiful, memorable, all in one.

[Elise Hempel]

Rereading this. Don't know. I like the sestet. The octave not so much, just because of the deliberateness, the more obvious, close-together rhyme. But maybe that's what the sestet should do? Open things up?

[Orwn Acra]

Line 10 mars an otherwise very good poem. "Beauty of the moon" is a bit stale for me.

[Andrew Frisardi]

I like the poem, but prefer the octave to the sestet, which feels a bit contrived. Orwn mentions line 10, and do we really need to be told the moon is "resplendent" after we're told it is beautiful and full? The sestet doesn't have the naturalness of the octave, which is impressive. And yes, the last two lines of the poem are very good.

[Spindleshanks]

This ticks all the boxes. My favourite, although the title isn't worthy of the poem, and "broaches" is problematic given its range of definitions, none of which seem to accurately support its use here. Something might be done with "encroaches," perhaps.

[L.M. Price]

I really like all the 'o' sounds in the octave. And I confess that I like 'resplendent' also. It might not be strictly necessary, but it's a gorgeous word to say, and it adds a little extra to the scene beyond simply saying it's beautiful.

[Ed Granger]

Originally Posted by L.M. Price

I really like all the 'o' sounds in the octave.

I agree - it's quite striking to this ear that L.9 is the first that does not have one - it really creates a sonic shift for me.

[ross hamilton hill]

Calmly, you walk the deck while down below
clocks tick toward their appointed time. You go (PAUSE, Fred removes hat)
about your business, unaware of bold (PAUSE, Fred ties shoelaces)
decisions, grand designs; obey when told (PAUSE, Fred scratches his nose)
to show your papers. Soon, plastique will blow (PAUSE, Fred blows his nose)
apart the ferry’s bow.

Hopeless..heaven help you if you had to recite this in the Great Hall...

[stephenspower]

@Ross

What are you referring to?