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  #1  
Unread 12-20-2003, 02:05 AM
Tim Murphy Tim Murphy is offline
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Medea

He posed between his mother and his wife;
a man who’d risen from the working class
to overcome all obstacles and pass
into the upper echelons of life.

His early hardship trained him well for strife
in politics. Promoted from the mass,
he spoke the people’s language, never crass,
but useful as a well-honed butcher's knife.

The woman scorned watched as her TV screen
mocked her with his image. She had made
this man. She thought of what she might have been.
The children she had wanted now were seen
beside a younger wife, proudly displayed.
She telephoned a national magazine.

Janet Kenny






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  #2  
Unread 12-20-2003, 09:48 AM
Rhina P. Espaillat Rhina P. Espaillat is offline
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This is an excellent updating of one of mythology's most bitter legends, a woman's destruction of what she loves most for the sake of revenge. Everybody understands Medea, but nobody likes her; sympathy is possible only if the reader remembers that her murder of her brother, her betrayal of her father and native country, all her acts of violence to benefit Jason, are the results of "Aphrodite's interference"--the blinding effects of passion. The story, as Euripides tells it, uses all of the forces that work on the central characters; the desire for power and wealth, parental affection, the need to be vindicated in the public mind, the fundamental need to "get even."

This retelling uses today's language and the media as an instrument. The fatuousness of "the upper echelons of life" echoes the man's ambition and self-satisfaction; the "well-hones butcher's knife" conveys his duplicity and underlying brutality and opportunism.

In the sestet we enter Medea's mind, as the chorus of the play would have done upon hearing her thoughts. She justifies herself: she "made" him; she is childless because of him--a wonderful twist on the original, in which she ultimately makes herself childless!--and she must bear the grief and idignity of seeing his children with a younger wife. Now she prepares to "kill" that whole "royal family" on the very day of his political success--by informing the media of certain aspects of his past the we are not told, but that we can imagine.

Should we be told? Does it matter what the details are that she's going to spill to the press? I don't think so; I rather like inventing my own political scandal about him, to go with the story of his sexual involvement with her. I have no doubt, though, that he' going to spill more than just sex: he did "overcome all obstacles," and that's an ominous phrase. The suggestion of his "early hardship" is a stroke of genius: it arouses sympathy for him, but also hints at his capacity to use trouble as a ladder.

Only one line in this excellent sonnet raises any questions, and it's line 12. The phrase "were seen" feels rhyme-driven, and ought to be easy to change to something stronger. I thought of "The children she had wanted stood between/their father and his wife, proudly displayed." That may involve replacing the "between" in line one with something else; does anyone have thoughts about that?

This poems makes me want to shout hurrah for the sonnet, a form that can do just about anything except slice and dice vegetables.








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  #3  
Unread 12-20-2003, 12:06 PM
Tim Murphy Tim Murphy is offline
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There is a palpable sense of injustice, menace and malice about this. Very hard to write a strong narrative in 14 lines, unless you're R.S. Gwynn. Euripedes must be smiling.
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  #4  
Unread 12-20-2003, 12:41 PM
Jan D. Hodge Jan D. Hodge is offline
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Though I hesitate to differ with Rhina's judgment, I find "have seen" apt here since after all (in keeping with the current idiom) this is a photo op, and the point is very much to be seen. (Admittedly, having the line's focus be on the children may weaken that argument a bit, but still...)

Jan
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  #5  
Unread 12-20-2003, 02:02 PM
Richard Wakefield Richard Wakefield is offline
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The first stanza is a beauty, mother and wife representing his humble beginnings and his new status. The second stanza is skillful but takes me in the wrong direction. Granted, the traditional place for the turn is after that second stanza, so the change of scene would seem to be in the right place. But I don't really need to hear any more about him, or at least I don't need to hear these things about him. In short, it feels like filler. Maybe part of the reason for that is the wonderful beginning of the third quatrain, "The woman scorned"! Beautiful, and it tells us everything important we need to know, never mind the sordid details. Is there a better adjective to modify "magazine" than "national"?
RPW
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  #6  
Unread 12-21-2003, 11:06 AM
Sharon Passmore Sharon Passmore is offline
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I like the play on Medea and the media.
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  #7  
Unread 12-21-2003, 01:14 PM
Susan McLean Susan McLean is offline
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I think this has been improved by the changes and was good to begin with. My one suggestion is that "useful" seems a rather bland word. Something along the lines of "trenchant" might be more effective.

Susan
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  #8  
Unread 12-21-2003, 02:09 PM
Janet Kenny Janet Kenny is offline
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I hesitated to reply but since Susan has made the plunge I have a couple of small points to offer--apart from my thanks to everyone, especially Rhina.

Richard, in Australia there are levels of media (as in America). America has "Time" and Australia has "The Bulletin". The implication is that the federal election will be undermined. This idea has more power in a country with restricted media opportunities.

Susan, "trenchant" would be very good. I was hoping to say something more sinister and invasive than trenchant. I hoped the blandness of "useful" would be more dangerous.

Thank you again,
Janet
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  #9  
Unread 12-22-2003, 04:34 AM
Jim Hayes Jim Hayes is offline
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Yes, there is a rather sneaky undercurrent of delayed malice attaching to 'useful' and 'national' is effective taking my understanding of the polititian's national ambitions into account. A very effective poem.

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  #10  
Unread 12-22-2003, 11:51 AM
William A. Baurle William A. Baurle is offline
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I'm always impressed when a very strict form is employed, in this case the Petrarchan sonnet(so much more difficult than the Shakesperian), in a manner which doesn't make the form leap out and grab you by the collar, and in such a way that the writing still seems natural and unforced.

Loved the enjambment at L6 and L11. "She had made this man" is especially powerful.

Initially, I shared Richard's thoughts about "national", but now I can't think of another word which would more effectively carry that range of implications. I tried.

Excellent sonnet.

Bill
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