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Unread 10-03-2014, 02:53 PM
Julie Steiner Julie Steiner is offline
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Default That's all, folks!

There were 24 entries, and "up to twelve" finalist slots, in this year's Translation Bake-Off.

So why have I named only eight finalists?

I've spent a very long time fine-tuning my comments on the remaining entries, but I've ultimately decided that it will be most useful to send my notes to the individual translators. I fervently hope that they will post revisions to the Translation Board for Eratosphereans to enjoy.

The entries that I didn't showcase here were not "bad," or even "worse" than some of the ones I did showcase. But I think it would be better to have the remaining non-finalists consider (and perhaps reject) my comments in private, and then workshop them on the Translation Board. That way, they can have the satisfaction of hearing others say, "THIS IS FANTASTIC! It would have been my favorite in the Bake-Off! Julie was nuts not to name this a finalist!"

Nothing could make me happier.

I'd like to share a few general points regarding the majority of the poems that did not make my final cut:


1.) Even in free verse, music matters.

The term free verse doesn't mean that the poem has no form. It means that the poem has been left free to find its own form.

The challenge of the translator of free verse is to find the distinctive qualities of the original's unique form, and to find an appropriate way to communicate these qualities in English.

I received too many free verse translations that conformed to a caricature of early 20th century modernism. "If it can be cut, it should be cut" seemed the rule in these, regardless for the damage this did to the music of the original line.

(Sadly, such ruthless efficiency does, indeed, seem to be the rule of a lot of English-language free verse. But even in pieces without a regular metrical pattern, words that seem superfluous to the sense are often essential to the sonic effects, prosody, pacing, and naturalness of a line. Good free verse sings; telegraphese doesn't.)

Poetry is not about delivering the literal sense of an idea in the fewest number of words. Poetry is about conveying the whole experience of engaging with that idea, through the unique sensibilities of a particular poet.

When a languid, lyrical original gets whittled down to its bare bones in translation, in order to conform to a particular idea of what free verse should be in English...well, I think most will agree that such a translation will fail to convey the experience of engaging with the original poem.

To think about it in another way...isn't a translation that superimposes rigid efficiency standards on a free verse original just as unfaithful as a translation that superimposes a received form on it? Either way, the translator does not leave the poem free to be what it is, and to speak to the reader in its own way.


2.) In general, rhyme is overrated.

Only 10% of a rhymed iambic pentameter poem rhymes. Neglect the other 90% at your peril.

Yes, rhyme is one of the most noticeable features of rhymed poems, particularly if it's done badly. Fortunately, most of the rhyming non-finalists were very well-rhymed indeed (which to me means that the rhyme served the mood and sense of the poem, rather than the other way around).

But if the meter--the majority of the music!--suffers because the translator is putting too much energy into effective rhyming...well, engaging with that masterfully-rhymed translation is still going to be a pretty far cry from engaging with the original, however faithfully the rhyme scheme is reproduced.

The "Rimbaud's lice" entry demonstrates what a good bargain it can be to trade some rhyme for the freedom to convey other positive qualities.

(Some of you have seen me use the cross of my translations' oh-so-faithful rhyme schemes to crucify a plethora of original poems over the years. So you know how much it pains me to admit that less-obvious aspects of a rhymed poem can be more important, and that rhyme may sometimes be sacrificed to purchase them.)


3. If you're going to have the temerity to take on a great song by a great artist, SING YOUR HEART OUT.

When I'm watching The Voice, and I hear the opening bars of certain classic songs, I always think, "Uh-oh." I know that however talented that contestant is, his or her performance has no chance of measuring up to the original--unless it's not just technically flawless, but inspired enough to really move us. A solid, competent performance of such a piece is not going to be good enough.

We can't help holding such pieces to a ridiculously high standard. In part, this is because many of us can't get the legendary wonderfulness of the song out of our minds; and in part it's because we have seen so many brilliant and un-brilliant past attempts at interpretation.

Don't give us another good rendition of that great, great song. Give us utter awesomeness, or give us something new.

I had a similar reaction to some of the Translation Bake-Off non-finalists: "Uh-oh." These famous poems by famous authors were, indeed, good translations. But they weren't quite great yet. And, for certain classics, only greatness will do.

Does the world really need yet another translation of a poem that has already been translated a gazillion times, and often brilliantly at that? Only if the new translation conveys some particularly amazing quality that other translators have not yet managed to capture.

It should never be considered a safe choice to take on a legendary monster.

Yes, I am holding the technical mastery and musicality of such translations to a higher standard than those of less familiar pieces. This double standard for often-translated-previously material is, indeed, unfair. But when I think of all the wonderful discoveries that are not being made and shared, while the same repertoire gets reworked again and again, I'd like to do what I can to encourage translators to look beyond the more obvious features of the poetic landscape.

(And if you still feel compelled to join the thousands who have already scaled Mt. Everest, make sure you do so in a way that convinces others that your approach is particularly noteworthy.)


Again, I'm hopeful that many of the contestants will look at my comments in private, and will workshop their revisions at the Translation Board after this event ends. I am confident that the new, improved versions of these non-finalists will be well worth the wait, and that I'll look absolutely insane for not having filled up those extra finalist slots.

On Tuesday, 7 October 2014, I will open a voting thread to decide the three favorites among these eight finalists (plus the #1 favorite translations of Meleager's bee poem and Meleager's first mosquito poem, respectively). Voting will close Monday, 13 October, at which point the winners of the popular vote and the judge's choices will be announced.

Last edited by Julie Steiner; 10-03-2014 at 03:01 PM.
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Unread 10-03-2014, 03:25 PM
Roger Slater Roger Slater is online now
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Oh my goodness, I hadn't noticed that the bake off was underway and now all the poems have been posted. I'll try to catch up.
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Unread 10-09-2014, 08:17 AM
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Martin Rocek Martin Rocek is offline
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Julie,
thank you for a fabulous job, and for your comments on both the poems that you selected and the ones that you did not! You are great, and I really hope that we can persuade you to moderate the translation forum.

Martin
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Unread 10-09-2014, 08:34 AM
Brian Allgar Brian Allgar is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Martin Rocek View Post
Julie,
thank you for a fabulous job, and for your comments on both the poems that you selected and the ones that you did not! You are great, and I really hope that we can persuade you to moderate the translation forum.
I wholeheartedly second Martin's remarks. But "to moderate the translation forum"? Hell, in view of the number of languages that Julie evidently masters, she could populate it!
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