[Jeanne G]

Originally Posted by Ann Drysdale

(Voice of a pensioner, telling the truth.)

add Thy bright wings to orthopaedic shoes,
shrinking the distances that stretch between
Thy servant and E3 – or X15.

Hi Ann, sensationally funny and sublimely ott. Dare I say hyperbolic, which I hear could well be banned (bummer that). Love the old english Thy's. Great finish. Suggest keeping your bracketted bit as a subtitle for entry; it added to the funny before I even got into the poem. I think it's an orthopaedic shoe-in.

Jeanne

[Jayne Osborn]

Suggest keeping your bracketted bit as a subtitle for entry

Titles are never used in The Oldie, Jeanne, but Ann doesn't need to include "Voice of a pensioner..." as the poem's first line mentions her bus pass -- and you only get one of those little gems when you reach 60 (so I've been told! )

Jayne

[Peter Goulding]

Originally Posted by Ann Drysdale

Nice one, Peter. Try substituting "total" for "complete" in stanza 3 and see if it sounds better.

I'm in both total and complete agreement there Ann. Many thanks!

[Ann Drysdale]

Jeanne, thank you. Jayne, I had not intended including that line, knowing the Oldie. It wasn't for Tessa, it was for you, so to speak. For all the people that were "glad they didn't have to". The point was not so much that I am as old as God's dog but that I have roughly as much disposable income as His firstborn.

I am putting together a collection of work about living here and a couple of days ago I was crossing the junction between Church Street and High Street when a voice from that doorway bellowed "It's coming! Round the corner!" and a chap detached himself from the darkness and came thundering in my direction. A second man started to run from the stop on the High Street and together they made the dash for the X15.

In their haste they bumped into me and nearly fell foul of Otis's lead. "Sorry, love!" they said as they flew. "That's OK" I shouted after them, grinning. But I wasn't grinning about the pleasing, albeit momentary, touch of human flesh; I was exulting inside with the knowing and not saying, "I've written a poem about that".

Poor folk have poor ways and we take our comfort where we can.
.

[Martin Elster]

Running for the Bus

He dashed across the dusty lunar dunes
to catch her space bus, but her space bus caught
the solar wind, and he was winded, hot
and hurt. Did she forget those afternoons
they’d gaze at galaxies and worlds and moons,
united as they whipped and zipped and shot
from asteroid to comet like a thought
bridging the breach between there mind-cocoons?

Darting over dusty dunes, he sought
to halt what hurtled toward the boundless black.
Now through that boundless black we watch him follow
(though heaven knows he is no astronaut!),
tracking that vanished vision like a swallow
sweeping the multiverse to bring her back.

[Jerome Betts]

From Newport to the moon in one dizzying digital bound! How can one compete?

I’ve had a life that some would call a bore,
And not been places people all discuss.
Now years feel shorter than they did before
Should I at last start running for the bus?

I wonder if they really liked the ride?
Perhaps the others are half-envious
Of those who calmly watched and stood aside
As they were busy running for the bus?

The bus? Where to? Which one is right or wrong?
Sex, drugs and what you will? Too dangerous!
I’d hardly stay the course for very long,
These days, if I tried running for the bus.

One scheduled service nobody will miss,
Delays en route no minus but a plus.
When it arrives, we are assured of this,
There will be no more running for the bus

[Ann Drysdale]

Fear not, Jerome; even if you don't run for that bus, the driver will kindly stop for you.

[Jayne Osborn]

Jerome,
Newport, the moon... and then one's last ever bus journey. Oo-er! I love the subtlety of it. I have a couple of suggestions:

I’ve had a life that some would call a bore,
Avoiding things that many much discuss.

The bus? Where to? Which one is right or wrong?
Sex, drugs and rock and roll? Too dangerous!

Just suggestions, to ignore or otherwise. I have a good feeling about this one, though.

Jayne

[Jerome Betts]

Ann, curious how the everyday topic Tessa (or Wendy?) proposed has elicited such an efflorescence of interesting approaches, let alone those no doubt hatching in the extra-Spherical darkness.

Jayne, thanks,. Will ponder avoiding, but deliberately steered clear of rock and roll. Still, will also ponder. This just came from nowhere, so useful to know it had some effect and might be worth submitting.

[Martin Elster]

It certainly had an effect on me, Jerome! You brought things inspiredly down to Earth.