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  #1  
Unread 08-13-2010, 03:30 AM
John Whitworth's Avatar
John Whitworth John Whitworth is offline
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Default New Statesman: Clerihews

The present competition (Number 4140) is for clerihews featuring any active politician, home grown or foreign. Maximum ten per compeitor to comp@newstatesman.co.uk by 19thb August.

Well, I thought of one in the car. Needs a bit of polishing perhaps?

If Boris
Had been christened Maurice
Would he still bestride London like a Colossus,
Or be just one of those ordinary Old Etonian tossus?

Question - which American politicians have the Brits at the Staggers heard of. Obama and the divine Sarah, I should say. And which Aussies - Rudd, the Welsh lady and the Liberal in the speedos, Tony Adams is it?
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  #2  
Unread 08-13-2010, 07:14 AM
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basil ransome-davies basil ransome-davies is offline
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Default nothing personal but...

I can't get enthused about clerihews. They're too much like verse for people who can't scan. So the deviant form is the basic joke, & the content often not v. witty, reliant on bathos or whimsy. Better Ogden Nash if that's the name of the game.
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  #3  
Unread 08-13-2010, 07:48 AM
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Better Ogden in any case. Nevertheless...

George Osborne
Was born
Filthy rich. Wallpaper is
What done the biz.
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Unread 08-13-2010, 09:07 AM
Orwn Acra Orwn Acra is offline
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I agree with Bazza. I do like Auden's take on Blake from Academic Graffiti although it's one of the few good clerihews in the collection:

William Blake
Found Newton hard to take
And was not enormously taken
With Francis Bacon.

That's from memory so maybe the punctuation is wrong. Anyway, the "active" politician part really limits it, I think.
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  #5  
Unread 08-13-2010, 03:27 PM
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basil ransome-davies basil ransome-davies is offline
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Default oh well

Michael Gove
Is an odd-looking cove,
Curiously thin
With an underdeveloped chin
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  #6  
Unread 08-13-2010, 04:11 PM
Jerome Betts Jerome Betts is offline
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Teresa May
Is quite glam in her way.
Her shoes
Are news.
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  #7  
Unread 08-13-2010, 05:28 PM
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Michael Gove
Strove
In vain to get our schools
To turn out fewer bloody fools.
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  #8  
Unread 08-14-2010, 04:40 PM
Julie Steiner Julie Steiner is offline
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[Unfair characterization deleted--someone found it offensive, and on second thought it wasn't all that funny, anyway.]

Last edited by Julie Steiner; 08-14-2010 at 05:53 PM.
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  #9  
Unread 08-14-2010, 05:40 PM
Cally Conan-Davies Cally Conan-Davies is offline
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John!

Tony Abbott
looks like a skinned rabbit,
and why he lets himself be photographed in speedos
only He knows!

Last edited by Cally Conan-Davies; 08-14-2010 at 05:45 PM.
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  #10  
Unread 08-14-2010, 06:08 PM
Cally Conan-Davies Cally Conan-Davies is offline
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Julia Gillard
stuck a knife in Rudd, hard,
and Kevin’s lost his gall bladder.
She’s gladder, he’s sadder.

OR

Julia Gillard
stuck a knife in Rudd, hard,
now Kevin's lost his gall
bladder and all.

Last edited by Cally Conan-Davies; 08-14-2010 at 06:16 PM. Reason: did a Julia and deleted a Kevin
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