[Martin Elster]

Originally Posted by Ann Drysdale

I'm sorry, Martin that was unforgivably flippant, but I referred the matter to my own dog, asking when and how he last achieved dripping whiskers. However, how about "swimming-hole"? It's a bit Huckfinnical but conveys an outdoor place of wetness deep enough to douse a dog.

I like flippant, Ann. I think swimming-hole is perfect. Thanks!

[Brian Allgar]

Originally Posted by Matt Q

Too tasteless for the Oldie? Or just too tasteless in general?

Matt, it may be too tasteless for the Oldie, but as far as I am concerned, there is no limit to tastelessness provided it's funny - which this certainly is! The last line had me laughing audibly.

[John Whitworth]

Didn't Edgar Allen Poe want to have sex with dead underage girls? So it must be OK.

Achilles too, a great hero. And he actually did it. I'm not sure she was underage.But he did kill her.

[Matt Q]

Originally Posted by Jayne Osborn

You've managed to do something that doesn't happen very often, Matt -- you've rendered me completely speechless!

Jayne, I take it that's an accomplishment more impressive than a win with the Oldie

Brian, thanks! I'm impressed with the manner in which you avoided laughing out loud.

John, I bow to your superior knowledge in this area, but you got me searching the web. Are you referring to Poe's poem Annabel Lee?

And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side
Of my darling- my darling- my life and my bride,
In the sepulchre there by the sea,
In her tomb by the sounding sea.

There's also Swinburne's The Leper

Six months, and I still sit and hold
In two cold palms her two cold feet.
Her hair, half grey half ruined gold,
Thrills me and burns me in kissing it.

Love bites and stings me through, to see
Her keen face made of sunken bones.
Her worn-off eyelids madden me,
That were shot through with purple once.


So, I'm in good company, I reckon. Do I send it off to the Oldie though?

-Matt

[John Whitworth]

Why not? Why not indeed?

Imagine Swinburne rhyming bones with once!

[Peter Goulding]

A cheery little number for the festive season.

When the final thought cannot be contradicted;
when the final planet’s long since been consumed;
when all of time is found to be conflicted
and space itself is resolutely doomed;

when light, sweet light, has ceased its brief existence;
when red and blue are concepts of the mind;
when there is no more value in persistence;
when movement can no longer be defined;

when there’s no memory that we can dote on;
when there’s no up or down or left or right;
when all of life’s contracted to a photon
and every sheepish god’s been put to flight;

when no more hopefuls queue up for conversion;
when the final star has dwindled to a spark;
then, will we learn the point of this diversion,
or will we stay completely in the dark?

[Martin Parker]

Peter,
I love it -- subject to a pedantic grammatical change in the last verse.
"There's " being short for "there is" cannot properly precede the plural "hopefuls."

I would not normally be so pompously nit-picky; but it is a small detail that will grate with many -- Fidel's relative included, I suspect. And I would hate to see your chances of a win diminished.

[Peter Goulding]

Thanks Martin. That's why I post up here - so people more knowledgeable than me in these things will advise and help me to win money.
Will consider alternative structure and edit later. (have to invade the attic for last year's decorations apparently)

[basil ransome-davies]

Accidental duplication.

[basil ransome-davies]

Originally Posted by Matt Q

Too tasteless for the Oldie? Or just too tasteless in general?

Matt, I can't answer either of your questions but I absolutely pissed myself.