Crepúsculos de la Ciudad, a series of five sonnets, deserves to have an excellent translation. To date, we don't have one.
Eliot Weinberger, like Andrew, is one of the English language’s top living translators. Yet he hasn't, at least to my knowledge, published a translation of these five early poems. They very much deserve to see the light of day in English. They are mysterious, moody, threatening, and nearly morbid. The odd and, as Pedro says, ingenious locutions detract from too much concentration on the dreadful and lonely, keeping the poem balanced. One is forced to think and make connections with the stunning imagery even as the poem truly conveys a terrible, if temporary, loneliness. The loneliness of grief. Of loss.
It so happens that the Word Reference thread that Andrew pointed out to clarify what se atarda means, is the one I originated. My handle on that thread is Casa del Sol. Andrew outed me! More to the point, I wasn’t sure what to do with the various suggestions in that Word Reference thread. Andrew, Rodger/Bob, and Pedro have clarified the situation. I thank you three gentlemen.
Thanks to Ann for her underdog appreciation given the condition of my translation to date. Paz is among the greatest of 20th century poets. Nothing less than that judgment will suffice. For anyone who doesn’t have any Spanish, I refer you to Eliot Weinberger above. He has translated a great deal of Paz’ poetry.
I once had the privilege of hearing Mr. Paz read his poetry (while he stood on the stage behind a podium, not sitting, a man in his 80s) at the 92nd Street Y in New York City. Eliot Weinberger stood some distance from Mr. Paz’ right and read his English translation after the maestro completed his reading of the original. What a night! And such a formal gentleman. Little eye contact. He nodded his head politely, with his eyes cast down, when I, naively and having nothing more original to say, said to him in English, “Thank you for your life’s work.”
I will resubmit a revision.
Thanks to all who commented.
Yes, Edward, I will keep the last line. Thank you.
Added in: I have to thank Carol for her fine crib. I will use it for my revision. Thank you.
Last edited by Adam Elgar; 09-17-2012 at 03:09 AM.
Reason: "Very greatest" to "greatest"