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Unread 03-18-2017, 10:19 AM
R. S. Gwynn's Avatar
R. S. Gwynn R. S. Gwynn is offline
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Location: Beaumont, TX
Posts: 4,765
Default What makes lines great?

For some reason I thought about this sentence from Weldon Kees's "Round" while getting my coffee.

A closet mouse
Rattles the wrapper on the breakfast food.

This is part of two lines. I would argue that it makes a good case for what makes poetry different from prose. Thoughts?

Round

"Wondrous life!" cried Marvell at Appleton House.
Renan admired Jesus Christ "wholeheartedly."
But here dried ferns keep falling to the floor,
And something inside my head
Flaps like a worn-out blind. Royal Cortssoz is dead.
A blow to the Herald-Tribune. A closet mouse
Rattles the wrapper on the breakfast food. Renan
Admired Jesus Christ "wholeheartedly."

Flaps like a worn-out blind. Cezanne
Would break out in the quiet streets of Aix
And shout, "Le monde, c'est terrible!" Royal
Cortissoz is dead. And something inside my head
Flaps like a worn-out blind. The soil
In which the ferns are dying needs more Vigoro.
There is no twilight on the moon, no mist or rain,
No hail or snow, no life. Here in this house

Dried ferns keep falling to the floor, a mouse
Rattles the wrapper on the breakfast food. Cezanne
Would break out in the quiet streets and scream. Renan
Admired Jesus Christ "wholeheartedly." And something inside my head
Flaps like a worn-out blind. Royal Cortissoz is dead.
There is no twilight on the moon, no hail or snow.
One notes fresh desecrations on the portico.
"Wondrous life!" cried Marvell at Appleton House.
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  #2  
Unread 03-18-2017, 05:38 PM
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Well, the music makes it memorable (r consonance), as do the specificity and rhythm, but good prose writers do much the same? Also, the context: a mouse around food rivets my attention.
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