Speaking of Dick Wilbur, I've had the temerity to offer him one or two (small) crits on occasion. So...
The thing is, I just love this poem. It is as beautiful as a bat's ear. Tim Murphy remarks that on the few occasions when he has clubbed a bat to death, he greatly admired the ears.
But I don't think you have made quite the right choice in setting up your two stanza-length sentence fragments. I would urge you to start sentence one with "because," which will scan with the second foot as an anapest. And sentence two can begin as follows: "Because they sing--not as the songbird sings..." You would lose nothing by dropping "the way."
I hope you won't take amiss a little crit at this stage. You have a wonderful poem here.
A.S.
P.S. L. 8 could use a little more stress. There are only three strong stresses in the line, and "revising" is a word for what a poet does, not a bat. I hope you will...this is so near to being fulfilled as something exquisite.
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