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  #21  
Unread 05-21-2015, 02:43 PM
Toni Seger Toni Seger is offline
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Michael,
For me, all of these work, but I love to hike and these words capture it like 'summit’s fingertip' which is perfect. Clear blue is out of context. 'drift into clear blue until it's out of words' captures that first enormous exhale when you reach the top and you just can't say anything, you're in such awe. 'Universe undwarfed' is totally original and terrific. I believe 'perfect coil' refers to Hamlet 'when we have shuffled off this mortal coil' and brings in that darkness and ambiguity. Inklings is utterly charming. I'd say brilliant. This poem is about that brief moment on the top and the feeling is over the top and it works. Definitely my favorite, so far.

Last edited by Toni Seger; 05-21-2015 at 02:46 PM.
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  #22  
Unread 05-21-2015, 04:13 PM
Michael Cantor Michael Cantor is offline
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Toni - if you're going to get back on again and again and stress what you like about the poem, people might get the idea that it's yours - or that you're an agent for the poet, looking to split the lucrative prize money. However, since it appears that not only do a number disagree, but two (Ann and Kathy) seem to think it's deliberate overkill, brilliant inklings and all, you may find yourself very busy. Maybe it's better to wait to see what the poet had in her or his mind.

Last edited by Michael Cantor; 05-21-2015 at 04:45 PM.
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  #23  
Unread 05-21-2015, 09:48 PM
Jennifer Gordon Jennifer Gordon is offline
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Default Of mountaintop experiences and the theme is vanity and modern society.

Chancing earlier to read Keats' complaint on the sonnet itself in a letter to his brother and sister apparently, this particular sonnet seems to present his derisive assessment of the Italian as little more than a series of triplets and couplets, though I'd rather call this Spenserian or--?

A modern sonnet broken thus, it is classically careless regarding the meter. That said, it renders with a haunting poignancy the elevating position taken and ensuing reflection on the vanity of our endeavours here, leaving me settled on the theme of this year's bake-off.

I suppose thus drawn, I shall be forgiven for ceasing to elaborate on its finer points.
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  #24  
Unread 05-22-2015, 09:06 AM
Toni Seger Toni Seger is offline
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Michael, I find your remarks deeply offensive. The poem is not mine and I know nothing about prize money. I thought this was supposed to be a civil discussion. Guess I misunderstood.

Last edited by Toni Seger; 05-22-2015 at 09:10 AM.
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  #25  
Unread 05-22-2015, 09:59 AM
Michael Cantor Michael Cantor is offline
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My remarks were obviously intended as a joke, Toni, and I added the prize money remark to make certain that that was clear. Of course, there's no prize money. That was the point.

I suggest you read Ann and Cathy's posts - #18 and #19 - again. Things are not always what they seem on the surface, whether it's sonnets or comments. And it's our jobs as poets, he says pompously (that was a bit of a joke also, but aimed at me), to remain open to more than one reading.

Last edited by Michael Cantor; 05-22-2015 at 10:08 AM.
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  #26  
Unread 05-22-2015, 10:37 AM
Catherine McDonald Catherine McDonald is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ann Drysdale View Post
Well, maybe I'm getting the wrong end of this, but it set me smiling and at the end I laughed in delight - Oh, you naughty sonneteer!

...I may regret having written this; if I have misunderstood you, I am sorry - forgive me. But from now until the declaration, I can see it my way, can't I? (smiling as I write).
By George, now I'm smiling too.

attempt to sponge the feeling’s sparkling flow
with paper; a few drops that do not fade


Thank you, Ann!

Last edited by Catherine McDonald; 05-22-2015 at 03:20 PM.
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