2015 ERATOSPHERE TRANSLATION BAKE-OFF
MAIN EVENT ENTRY J
Title:
"The Ballad of Sexual Dependency" ("Ballade von der sexuellen Hörigkeit"), from Act 2 of The Threepenny Opera (Die Dreigroschenoper)
Lyricist and Composer:
German lyrics by Bertolt Brecht (1898-1956); music by Kurt Weill (1900-1950)
Translator's Note:
The Threepenny Opera was one of the defining cultural events of Weimar Germany and is still frequently performed today, both in German and in English translations of variable quality. Most people know "The Ballad of Mack the Knife" and "The Song of Pirate Jenny." This number is less well known but is extremely effective (and funny) when performed.
Sung Versions:
WARNING: lyrics potentially NSFW (not suitable for work) due to sexual content
1.)
German lyrics, in the definitive performance by Trude Hesterberg
2.)
The contestant's English translation, performed a cappella by the Top Secret Yodeler
The Competitor's Translation
THE BALLAD OF SEXUAL DEPENDENCY
There is a man – a Satan primed for battle.
The butcher he, and all the rest are cattle!
He does them in before they can do him in.
And who can master this whoremaster? Women!
Despite his plans, he’s ready for the sack.
He’s got the sexual monkey on his back.
He doesn’t read the Bible, scorns the statute book.
He thinks he is a super-narcissist,
Knows men can be demolished with a kiss,
And won’t give girls another look.
He shouldn’t praise the light till day’s a goner:
Before it’s night he’s climbing up upon her.
We’ve seen them dig themselves halfway to China,
Great spirits mired in a whore’s vagina.
And those who swore they wouldn’t fall, though scores did,
Were buried too. You know who did it – whores did!
Regardless what men want, they need the sack.
They’ve got the sexual monkey on their back!
And this one trusts the Bible, sneers at common law,
One is a Christian, one’s an anarchist.
At noon he crosses even celery off the list;
By afternoon Descartes’s a powerful draw.
At evening he says, “I’m a man of honor!”
But come the night he’s lying there upon her.
This fellow here is facing execution.
They’ve tied the noose, they’re giving absolution.
His life hangs by a thread that’s thin and fraying,
But what’s he got in mind, the rascal? – Laying!
He’s on the block but ready for the sack.
He’s got the sexual monkey on his back.
He doesn’t have a chance – they’ve auctioned off his mug.
She’s got the Judas payment in her purse.
He starts to guess the truth and curse –
That in her woman’s pit his grave is dug.
And he may rage against that little conner;
Before it’s night he’s lying there upon her.
The Original German Lyrics
DIE BALLADE VON DER SEXUELLEN HÖRIGKEIT*
Da ist nun einer schon der Satan selber
Der Metzger: er! und alle andern: Kälber!
Der frechste Hund! Der schlimmste Hurentreiber!
Wer kocht ihn ab, der alle abkocht? Weiber!
Das fragt nicht, ob er will — er ist bereit.
Das ist die sexuelle Hörigkeit.
Der glaubt nicht an die Bibel, nicht ans BGB.
Er meint, er ist der größte Egoist.
Weiß, daß wer’n Weib sieht, schon verschoben ist.
Und läßt kein Weib in seine Näh:
Er soll den Tag nicht vor dem Abend loben
Denn vor es Nacht wird, liegt er wieder droben.
So mancher Mann sah manchen Mann verrecken
Ein großer Geist blieb in ‘ner Hure stecken!
Und die’s mit ansahn, was sie sich auch schwuren
Als sie verreckten, wer begrub sie? Huren!
Das fragt nicht, ob er will — er ist bereit.
Das ist die sexuelle Hörigkeit.
Der hält sich an die Bibel! Pfeift ans BGB!
Er ist ein Christ und der ein Anarchist!
Am Mittag zwingt man sich, daß man nicht Sellerie frißt.
Nachmittags weiht man sich noch ‘ner Idee.
Am Abend sagt man: Mit mir geht’s nach oben.
Doch vor es Nacht wird, liegt man wieder droben.
Da steht nun einer fast schon unterm Galgen
Der Kalk ist schon gekauft, ihn einzukalken.
Sein Leben hängt an einem brüch’gen Fädchen.
Und was hat er im Kopf, der Bursche? Mädchen!
Schon unterm Galgen, ist er noch bereit.
Das ist die sexuelle Hörigkeit.
Er ist schon sowieso verkauft mit Haut und Haar.
Bei ihr hat er den Judaslohn gesehn.
Und er beginnt nun zu verstehn
Daß ihm das Weibes Loch das Grabloch war.
Und er mag wüten gegen sich und toben —
Bevor es Nacht wird, liegt er wieder droben.
*As sung by Trude Hesterberg. The last line in each stanza has one extra syllable in some other printed versions.
The Competitor's Literal English Prose Crib
THE BALLAD OF SEXUAL DEPENDENCY
There is one [man] who’s Satan himself
The butcher he! and all others calves.
The naughtiest dog! The worst whoremaster!
Who does him in, [he] who does everyone in? Women!
It’s not a question whether he wants to – he’s ready.
That is sexual dependency.
He doesn’t believe the bible nor the common law.
He thinks he is the greatest egoist [narcissist].
He knows whoever sees a woman is derailed
And lets no woman come hear him.
He shouldn’t praise the day before the evening
For before it’s night he once again lies on top.
Many a man has seen someone die,
A great spirit stuck in a whore!
And those who looked on, even if they swore
As they died – who buried them? Whores!
It’s not a question whether he wants to – he’s ready.
That is sexual dependency.
This one trusts the bible! Whistles at common law!
He is a Christian, and he’s an anarchist!
At noon one forces himself to abstain from celery.
In the afternoon he dedicates himself to an idea.
In the evening one says: I’m aiming for higher things.
But before it’s night one again lies on top.
Now here’s one standing almost under the gallows.
The lime is already bought to lime him in.
His life hangs by a little fraying thread.
And what’s in his head, this fellow? Girls!
Even on the gallows he’s still ready.
That is sexual dependency.
He’s already sold anyway – hide and hair.
He’s seen the Judas payment on her.
And he now starts to understand
That to him the woman’s pit was the grave.
And he may rage against himself and storm –
Before it’s night he’ll lie again on top.
Commentary by the Top Secret Yodeler:
(Cringe!)
I tried as valiantly as I could to sound like Trude Hesterberg, but I'm definitely not an alto. When I mentally transposed the piece into my range, the mood of the piece changed so much that I kept inadvertently reverting to the original key, so I decided to just leave it where it was and butcher the low notes.
And after repeated attempts, I still stumbled on the timing of the celery and Descartes lines in Verse 2.
Apologies. I know that the contestant was hoping for a better performance. So was I.
Even though I fell short of the mark, this was a fun piece to try to sing. One of my housemates was scandalized to overhear me belting out the line about "a whore's vagina."
Commentary by Top Secret Distinguished Guest:
Interestingly, this song is mostly iambic pentameter, which is not a common meter for musical arrangements, and it uses as many feminine line-endings as masculine ones.
The contestant did a wonderful job approximating the original rhyme scheme; both poems are reckoned:
AABBcc deedFF / GGHHcc ijjiFF / KKLLcc mnnmFF
The capital letters represent feminine (two-syllable) rhymes. The second of each pair of "c" and "F" rhymes is a repetend, and the wording of these varies only slightly from verse to verse in both versions. The first "c" rhyme is always the same word.
As I've mentioned elsewhere, when a tune is written for feminine endings, stretching masculine endings across two notes will still fit the tune, but at the cost of the extra lilt inherent in those final flourishes. In addition, feminine endings feel a bit special because they are far less frequent than masculine endings in English verse, and the possibilities of using two words in them can also feel fresh and surprising, as in Verse 2's succession of "China"/"vagina"/"scores did"/"whores did".
I'm glad that this contestant made the extra effort to retain the feminine rhymes throughout.
My criticisms will go on at some length, but only because I find so much to like in this translation that I'd like to see it perfected. Most of my problems are with Verse 1.
Happy as I am to see those feminine rhymes, a few choices felt rhyme-driven. Example A: The first line's "a Satan primed for battle" undermines the establishment of the butcher metaphor in the next line, by introducing military imagery that the audience is expecting to get further developed. I'd prefer something more neutral leading up to that.
The first repetend, "He's got the sexual monkey on his back," is of a much lower register than the clinical-sounding "That is sexual dependency" of the crib. Although I think the colloquial paraphrase works
per se, I'm sorry to see some of the humor lost because the diction of this ersatz psychologist is casual and earthy, rather than formal and cerebral.
Also, with "That is sexual dependency" out, the first clinical language we encounter in the poem is "He thinks he is a super-narcissist." What does that mean to the audience, who, until now, hasn't any clue that the narrator speaks psychobabble? I assumed it meant that the person being described was super (as in very) narcissistic. But why? I thought perhaps this had something to do with Freud's super-ego, but that's "Über-ich" in German, so apparently not.
Do narcissists know they are narcissists, or do they just think they're actually more wonderful than everyone else? I'm reminded of the Woody Allen character who said something like, ""People tell me I'm narcissistic but I disagree; if I were to identify with a figure from Greek mythology it wouldn't be Narcissus, it would be Zeus."
The crib says, "He thinks he is the greatest egoist." I keep wondering if some punctuation might be missing from the original: "He thinks he is the greatest. Egoist!" That seems unlikely, but I know I'm not fully understanding what's going on there.
My problems with the songs first verse continued:
Knows men can be demolished with a kiss,
And won't give girls another look.
Since Jesus was famously betrayed by Judas
with a kiss, and the word "girls" is held for such an emphatic, extra-long note, I concluded that a bisexual man was vowing to swear off girls and prey exclusively on men, because he knew he could demolish them with a kiss. The next two lines seem to say that he keeps backsliding to heterosexuality against his will. But the crib suggests that he is trying to have no sexual entanglements at all, and that the "Knows men can be demolished with a kiss" line means he knows that women make him weak and vulnerable. Perhaps the Egoist line means something like his mind thinks he doesn't need anyone else, but his carnal desires override his best intentions.
Ulterior motive for the lengthy complaints above: I wasn't wild about the near-rhyme of "-ist" and "kiss", and was hoping for a rewrite of that section.
In the second repetend, "Before it's night he's climbing up upon her." I'm not sure that the antecedent of "her"--a sort of anonymous everywhore--is clear to everyone. It took me a while to realize that the "her" didn't refer to any woman in particular, and in performance there's not the luxury of that while.
In Verse 2, the digging to China metaphor was a liberty with the text that had me picturing actual shovels, so perhaps "rut" could be used instead of "dig". In the second half of that verse, it may be hard to understand that several different people are being listed, rather than a single man full of contradictory opinions. The odd meter of the celery and Descartes verses did, indeed, trip up the Yodeler, and it's not clear to me what they actually mean, even when I puzzle over the crib.
In Verse 3, my main problem is that "They've tied the noose" had me picturing the execution as so imminent that I couldn't figure out how there was time or opportunity for sex. The crib's image of them having bought the lime may not mean much to modern audiences, who may not know that lime is used to help corpses in mass graves decompose more quickly. The idea of the noose also didn't mesh well with "He's on the block", because that implies decapitation, not hanging. So some revision seems needed there, too.
Despite the liberties taken with the text and the problems with clarity, I still like the spirit of this translation very much.
Bake-off Dish J--"...Sexual Dependency"
Linear Mode
