[Susan McLean]

Bruce Bennett:
The second most numerous type of poem I received (tied with rondeaux) is also the shortest, the triolet. Again, the quality of craft was high, so I looked for poems that surprised me by how much could be implied and suggested by only eight rhyming lines, one repeated twice and one once. I chose three triolets, and will comment on all three in this posting.

First, “Being the Bad Guy:


Being the Bad Guy

She doesn't want to face it, yet
you're forced to force her to. Today
you bring it up; she gets upset.
She doesn't want to face it yet.
You love her, and you'd like to let
your aging mother have her way.
She doesn't want to. Face it. Yet
you're forced, too. Force her to. Today.


Yesterday I broached the question of how far villanelles can go toward introducing and sustaining a narrative. But a villanelle seems positively spacious compared to a triolet. Yet, “Being the Bad Guy” provides a stunning example of a really short poem implying an entire dramatic situation with remarkable intensity.

At times, one has to be “the bad guy” with one’s “aging mother” for everyone’s good, no matter how much one loves her and how distasteful that role may be. I am reminded of “hint fiction,” where a full-length work of prose can be adumbrated through just a few sentences, or even words. We don’t know what the specific issue is in this poem – perhaps the son or daughter has to tell the mother she must go into a nursing home – but we do hear, and are made to feel, the speaker’s reluctant willingness to act, finally, under the urgent prodding of necessity.

What I especially admire are the minute changes in the repeating lines which, in the most precise manner, carry the dramatic and emotional weight of the poem. We go from “She doesn’t want to face it, yet…” to “She doesn’t want to face it yet” to “She doesn’t want to. Face it. Yet…” That is brilliantly-nuanced writing. And it is matched by “you’re forced to force her to. Today…’, which becomes the climactic ending, “you’re forced, too. Force her to. Today.” Not only does every syllable count; every syllable stresses the imperativeness of taking an action that nobody really wants. It’s masterful, and showcases what it is possible to contain in a tiny triolet.

[Michael Cantor]

Wow! What Bruce said - I can't add anything. Triolet-as-narrative is unique and admirable, the handling of the repetends is terrific.

[Ian Hoffman]

Originally Posted by Michael Cantor

Wow! What Bruce said - I can't add anything. Triolet-as-narrative is unique and admirable, the handling of the repetends is terrific.

I completely agree. This is one of the best triolets I've ever read.

[Janice D. Soderling]

That's what I call craftsmanship.

[Catherine Chandler]

Very well-written and effective triolet.

[Tim Murphy]

Bravo. The variation in structure and emotional weight of the repetends is a model for any writer of these little critters.

[Jean L. Kreiling]

Terrific! Such drama, as Bruce points out, in such a carefully constructed package. At first I stumbled over the meter in the last couple of lines, but then realized that I was meant to. Unfortunately, this makes me want to burn all my attempts at this form. (Well, in light of another recent thread, maybe I'll just revise, revise, revise . . . )

Best,
Jean

[David Rosenthal]

Bruce's point about the compression of narrative is well-taken. From that perspective alone, this is sheer brilliance. Especially so since I can't imagine the urgency and uncomfortable brutality of necessity being better communicated in a longer poem. "You love her" in the middle of it and the second person mode make it for me.

David R.

[Petra Norr]

I'm finding it very hard to comment on the poems. In every poem so far, form dominates over content, which makes me hesitant to say much and above all hesitant to criticize. Repetition is such an important element of the form that it doesn't seem fair to be too critical, and besides, what kind of criteria outside of metre and adherence to form could I use in that respect? Well, today it struck me that progression is possibly a good criterion. And if I apply it to this poem, I find the poem works extremely well for six lines, but that the last two simply aren't needed content-wise since they don't take the poem further and make it progress, though of course they're necessary for the form. I also decided that flow was important in French repeating forms, and this poem flows pretty well in my opinion.
One of the best triolets I've ever read is written by an Eratospherian and has a wonderful progression and is also very moving. The triolet in this thread is really good, I like it a lot and I applaud it. But it would have been even better if it kept progressing, right to the finish.

[Andrew Frisardi]

Here is an example of repetition working well to set off different shades of emotion and mental states. And in so little space. Amazingly compact and affecting piece, masterfully controlled. Wonderful the way it cuts right to the quick and stays there. Makes me want to go out and write a triolet!