[Sharon Passmore]

Got this in my email:


IDIOTS IN SERVICE:
This week, our phones went dead and I had to contact the telephone repair people. They promised to be out between 8:00 a.m. and 7:00 p.m. When I asked if they could give me a smallertime window, the pleasant gentleman asked, "Would you like us to call you before we come?" I replied that I didn't see how he would be able to do that since our phones weren't working. He also requested that we report future outages by email. (Does YOUR email work without a telephone line?).

IDIOTS AT WORK:
I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature I had just signed on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in front of her. She carefully compared the signature to the one I had just signed on the receipt. As luck would have it, they matched.

IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD:
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: too many deer were being hit by cars and she didn't want them to cross there anymore. I could swear I've recently been with some of these people...

IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE:
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.

IDIOT SIGHTING #1:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" She smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."

IDIOT SIGHTING #2:
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with a coworker of mine when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?"

IDIOT SIGHTING #3:
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who is leaving the company due to "downsizing," our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often." Not a word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

IDIOT SIGHTING #4:
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the life of her couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.

IDIOT SIGHTING #5:
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "it's open!" To which he replied, "I know - I already got that side."

Now don't you feel better?

[Carol Taylor]

Sharon, add to that the bank clerk who wanted to see my ID before allowing me to deposit my husband's check into my husband's account. I could have mailed it or dropped it in the night deposit.

Carol

[Sharon Passmore]

A similar thing happened to me, Carol, LOL.

You have to wonder how some of these people feed themselves. There was the guy who sued a motorhome co. (I don't rememeber which one.) He bought his motorhome, got on the freeway, set the cruise control and went in back to fix coffee . After crashing into a ditch, he sued and won!!! The manufacturer had to change their owner's manuals after that.

[Robt_Ward]

I had an acquaintance who succesfully sued a catch-your-own trout farm after he impaled himself with the hook on which he was trying to mold a cheesebait. He got an infection (hadn't treated it at all) and claimed if they were going to rent out something as dangerous as hishing gear they needed to have instructions/warnings on possible dangers.

In essence, he won a 5-figure settlement because the trout farm didn't have a manual on how to bait a hook, nor a warning that if you stick yourself you need to clean the wound or it might get infected.

oy.....

(robt)

[FOsen]

Back in the day of split-carbon credit receipts, a salesclerk paused before tearing off my copy and said, "Let's see, you're the 'Merchant,' right?"

[kday1]

These are priceless. Funny stuff.

I was doing a seminar last year for a writers' workshop, "Writing on the Net." One woman in the audience kept raising her hand, even though I repeatedly asked her to wait until the presentation was done before asking questions. But she'd just blurt the question out. What's a provider? What's a modem?

I'd get three sentences out of my mouth and her hand would shoot up again, then her mouth would engage. Then she asked me (I swear this is true), "How do you find the Internet?"

A frustrated young man said, "Ma'am, what kind of computer do you have?"

"Oh," she said. "I don't have one yet. But I'm thinking about asking my son to buy me one for Christmas."

After the presentation, she came up to me and said, "I didn't get very much out of this workshop."

[Robert J. Clawson]

[quote]Originally posted by Sharon Passmore:

"IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE:
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg."

Sharon,

I like this guy's sense of humor.

I saw a headline on CNN Friday that read,

"U.S. Intelligence: Saddam Wants Iraqis To Believe He's Alive."

I like intelligence in any guise.

Bob

[Robert J. Clawson]

[quote]Originally posted by Robt_Ward:

"I had an acquaintance who succesfully sued a catch-your-own trout farm after he impaled himself with the hook on which he was trying to mold a cheesebait. "

It was probably a Fly Fishing Only pond.

Cheesebait? Sheesh.

Bob the Snob

[Robert J. Clawson]

[quote]Originally posted by Sharon Passmore:

"You have to wonder how some of these people feed themselves."

The service industries have trouble finding good help because they pay so little for jobs that require the savvy of a servant.

I often wonder how they feed themselves...and their families.

Bob

[Sharon Passmore]

Hi Bob,
I've work in the food service industry off and on all my life, and yes it's hard and low paying. Didn't mean to offend anyone - just lighten things up around here a little. I still can't get over the one lady who thought that deer can read.