Tilt-a-Whirl
A Poetry Sporadical of Repeating Forms

On Loneliness: A Cento

They say my poetry is one of nonbelonging.—Eugenio Montale, Xenia I
This is a special way of being afraid.—Philip Larkin, “Aubade”

by Michael Levan

They say my poetry is one of nonbelonging
but this is a special way of being afraid.
Grasping at nothing in a swirl of leaves
that year, I ate almost nothing

which is a special way of being afraid
of how I came into the world,
eating almost nothing which could’ve filled me.
In this and only this I find my salvation.

That’s how I come into this world,
my sad and usual heart, dry as a winter leaf.
In this and only this I find my salvation:
more and more time passes silently

while my sad and usual heart, dry as a winter leaf,
becomes a shape less recognizable each week.
More and more time passes silently,
and, knowing me, I would complain

when I did become a shape less recognizable each week
or a cloud of freezing air that finally unhooked itself.
Knowing me, I would complain
when the passerby felt my separateness,

or a cloud of freezing air unhooked itself
grasping at nothing in a swirl of leaves.
When the passerby felt my separateness—
he whispered what they said about my poetry.

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[For E.M., P.L., L.L., C.M., W.K., M.H.]

Michael Levan received his MFA in poetry from Western Michigan University and is currently a PhD candidate in English at the University of Tennessee, where he serves as nonfiction editor of Grist: The Journal for Writers. His work can be found in recent or forthcoming issues of Mid-American Review, Southern Indiana Review, Harpur Palate, Cimarron Review, and Third Coast. He lives in Knoxville with his wife, Molly, and son, Atticus.



 


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