long days have passed
since I've been here last
I've missed you all a lot
the poem bits
and Slaters' crits
which are always on the dot


Gabrielle Joy Eleonora



[This message has been edited by joyeleonora (edited May 03, 2002).]

zz,

SO! You think you have me in a corner
stuck in a spot, like little Jack Horner.
Used my own words to prove your
point, but opened an interesting door.
So zzbaby shall we explore:

You seem quite elated
even fixated,
at the thought of lips pressed
when you are undressed
on your dimpled cheeks
by any manner of freaks.

If you bare your bottom willy nilly
not only will you look quite silly,
but by exposing and trying to tease
you're gonna end up with a disease.




[This message has been edited by Melalope (edited May 03, 2002).]

With so many mentions,
I will think that you care
to keep the attentions,
on my derriere.

You have me undressing
for this point of a kiss;
With whom you are messing
you are quite amiss.

I seek not to corner
nor open the doors,
to that demon named Horner,
persona of yours.

I’d advise that mad face
to move right along,
and find that dark place
where demons belong.

As for catching disease
through some cyber-lipped freak,
I can assert with full ease,
that the argument’s weak.



------------------
zz

ZZ,
http://www.ablemuse.com/erato/ubbhtml/smile.gif


I assure you I really don't care
how fixated you are on your derriere.
But you were the one that made mention
of how lips and butts held your attention.
You describe me as a demon, dark and upset.
Dear Baby we've not even met!
And you've already dropped your drawers
and now you tell me, in essence: Up yours?
Come now, this is just a game
do we have to stoop to this name
calling, and third grade debate.
*yawn* I'm getting bored and it's late.

Without much prompting from me
you mentioned asskissing with glee.
Of course in cyberspace its true
you can smooch butt without turning blue
and rot from disease,
or catch someones fleas.
Yet it seems not much of an illusion
for me to come to the conclusion
That you're not picky who kisses your prat,
You want to take issue with that?

Maybe you should say uncle now,
Instead of having a cyber cow?

*all in good fun*

Wink wink




[This message has been edited by Melalope (edited May 03, 2002).]

but mel?! I'm really having a blast
seeing exactly how long I can last.
Uncle is something I must not say!
It's the sole rule of that game that they play,
when needing to have the very last word.
Retorts and rebuts with only absurd
"you did it, not me"s as if that would end,
the fight that began with barely a friend.

I'm tired alright, but not at the thought
of using my brain against an onslought
of buts, and asses, (and prats?) and such,
aiming to paint me as nothing much
more than some crazy slut,
but,

thanks for workout!

http://www.ablemuse.com/erato/ubbhtml/wink.gif




------------------
zz

Okay then its been fun
are you saying you're done?
Or would you like to defend
Whats in question:
Your rear end?
I've not even begun...
Are you sure you don't want to run?
You seem winded old fellow
are you turning a bit yellow?




[This message has been edited by Melalope (edited May 03, 2002).]

Roger Slater wrote:


Which I thought was quite wonderful. But nobody will ever see it, because it was buried by a space-consuming (and increasingly juvenile) doggerel food fight. So I'm bringing it back.

[This message has been edited by Michael Cantor (edited May 04, 2002).]

Michael,

"Which I thought was quite wonderful. But nobody will ever see it, because it was buried by a space-consuming (and increasingly juvenile) doggerel food fight. So I'm bringing it back."

I agree Roger's post has flair!
but I got caught up in babe's derriere,
that subject was just too fun.
If you don't like food fights, run!

I am sorry for taking up precious time
but Michael weren't you supposed to reply in rhyme?


What's that on your nose that I see,
looks like a brown spot to me. http://www.ablemuse.com/erato/ubbhtml/wink.gif

Okay I'm doing too much telling
I certainly hope I've not been smelling
up the board with poor poetry wit.
Just playing you know, that's it.




[This message has been edited by Melalope (edited May 04, 2002).]

<u>A Sonnet for Melalope</u>

The reason I acted so crass
is I'm tired of jokes about ass.
The stuff that you throw up each day
is banal, with nothing to say
and meter that turns bad to verse -
an iambic insult - a curse!
Your problem right now is you laze,
you're wasting your midnights and days
on trading bad insults that show
no care to write poems that glow.
I hope you remember next time
the rhythm as well as the rhyme.
But an empty atonal boast?
I'll skewer you with my riposte!!


Mel - I'll be unrhymed again. The above is not great (too many end stops and not enough enjambment, even for light verse), but it is a sonnet and it is (more or less) iambic tetrameter. It does say something, it's not awful, it doesn't take up so much space that nothing else gets noticed, I did learn by writing it (never really worked in IT before), there are some word-play puns, and hopefully somebody will enjoy reading it. Let me challenge you to focus on semi-real writing instead of endless blather, and reply with a similar sonnet. You said some time back you wanted to learn metric verse - prove it. Use iambic tetrameter - it's good for light verse - ta-TUM ta-TUM ta-TUM ta-TUM. I used a jerky aabbccddeeff couplet rhyme scheme, but you can use that or the more classical abbacddceffegg or ababcdcdefefgg. Ideally (I didn't do it well in mine) a "turn" occurs after line 8, and the sonnet changes in tone or attitude, and the "envoi" in the last two lines has a little summary or kick in it (I did this part somewhat better) which leaves 'em laughing or crying, as the case may be. I dare ya.

Michael

Roger, I must quite agree
with Michael. Let the masses see
your poem. Run it up the flagpole;
do not bury it in this slag hole.
Here the standard's rather low,
or should I say, it will be so
if one's perspective cannot soar
much higher than his derriere.
Your arse poetica is true art,
a well-done sonnet of the sort
in Light or ByLine magazine.
But lest it seem your ass I've kissed,
there is a rhyme, alas! you've missed.
I'm sure you know the one I mean.

Carol