Yeah, Frank's got it. (But what should we therefore conclude about me, given that just yesterday I was hunting online for learning materials in Old Norse and Old Icelandic?)

And again and again!

It is a well known fact that traditional culture often inculcates our children with misinformation for the sake of amusement and puerile entertainment. Take a well known children's joke and rewrite it in a way that substitutes correct information for pernicious attempts at humor that mislead and miseducate. For example, Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Chickens do not have motives or thoughts, but are purely instinctual creatures. They have no concept of roads and are incapable of formulating a desire to arrive at the other side.

When young people attend a "concert" these days, they are less likely to hear the classics than popular "music" presented by the Beatles or the Bananas or another organization of that ilk. Compose program notes illuminating an actual or invented popular opusculum, as though it were to be performed as part of a real concert. Adhere to a strict 75-word limit; one can stomach only so much.

targeting david
 

Roger's latest is on the dime – po-faced & literalistic. I could be wrong, but I don't feel there's much room for side-jokes here.

Roger (Bob),
You're really fired up for this one, I can see, and I predict you'll be one of the winners... but fix this little typo, please.

Write, in one hundred words or less, your obligatory compliments to the host...

Roger, that kids' one seems to have the genuine flavour of bananaman. Go with it! I must say I never thought I would win in a Staggers competition. A good omen for Spherians!

Competition for The Staggers:
Marketing Research all shows
Needlers, naggers, boasters, blaggers,
Everybody reads The Staggers,
Carpet-baggers, camel-shaggers,
Half the world, we may suppose,
Warmly recommends The Staggers.
Do the same as one of those
In 100 words of prose.

Raj - you have nailed it - that last one officially qualified for laugh out loud funny, according to me.

this way madness lies
 

Competitors are invited to make as many words of three letters or more as possible from the expression 'the future of British social democracy in the age of American hegemony and global capitalism'. 60% of the words should include at least one letter from the first half of the alphabet. Words of seven letters or more will be double weighted. Any word using 'y' as a vowel will be awarded a 40% premium. Irregular, but not regular, plurals may be counted as additional words. US orthography may be used as an alternative to (but not in addition to) British.