It's disconcerting and perhaps appalling
to contemplate how much around us falls.
Each blessed evening somewhere night is falling,
there's rain and morals, Thursdays, rubber balls,
whose natural state is falling, or they fell,
or seem about to do so; for a tide
of information makes it hard to tell.
There's leap years, by-elections, and there's Pride;
there's Man, who's exiled from a state of grace
and always seems much downer at the mouth
when noting wits and arches, arse and face,
each day are resolutely headed south.
There's standards, confidence, and expectations,
a sparrow, soldiers, tears, a host of nations.
Rome fell, and Lana Turner, and Niagara.
Screw chicken soup, our souls could use Viagra.

Frank

Well, Frank, I was going to make an attempt but that's going to take some beating! :D

Impressive, Frank!

Terrific final couplet, Frank.

The Fall
 

Who coined that silly phrase of ‘falling’ pregnant?
I never use it. (Shouldn’t it be ‘getting’?)
“Our Shazza fell...” No, that’s not how it happened!
Your daughter didn’t trip; it’s heavy petting
and being on her back that did the business.
You fall on hard times; old folk often fall
(or, rather, ‘have’ one). Men fall off a ladder,
but falling pregnant? That’s not right at all.
I do apologise for my insistence;
we must correct such ignorance. It’s ‘got’
or ‘getting’. No-one’s ‘fallen up the duff’ yet,
so ‘falling’ pregnant? Absolutely NOT.

(I sent my recent TDE 'lemon' poem too, on the off-chance. :rolleyes:)

Wrong thread

You know, Jayne, that falling pregnanat has annoyed me for years. It used to be a working clss usage but now it has spread like a fungus. In my young days people GOT pregnant. Nice poem.

Or Harry preggers, eh, John? (A condition that would follow the combination of Harry champers and Harry starkers. Good Oxbridge slang, now fallen into abeyance.)

Ah, those were the days when one referred to Pride and Prejudice as "Priggers and Preggers"...

Fall/get
There's a nice distinction, surely. "Get" implies intention, even effort.
"Fall" suggests an accident (of the sort that might happen to fallen women).

Bun in the oven, Ann, in the club, and other even more regrettable expressions.