Susan,

In tiara, specs, and pearls, she simply glumly stares,

is exactly how it always is! Haha. Very clever indeed and funny :D

I think you need God save the Queen not 'saves' in L4.

There's certainly no need to apologise to my sensibilities! Though I think it may not be quite what they mean by an "all purpose" poem, it's extremely enjoyable, especially the penultimate line, which is brilliant :)

Thanks, Jayne! The italicized lines 10-11 are supposed to be the new all-purpose state occasion lyric. Is God Save the Queen always sung or is it sometimes just quoted, in part, as recitation?

(I once posed the question, "why doesn't the Queen sing along with God Save the Queen?" to friends who were American, English or Commonwealth. The answers were fascinating!)

I think you've hit on an amazing subject for speculation there, Susan. I doubt if a single Brit has ever even considered why Her Majesty doesn't join in when the national anthem is sung!

(It's not sung very often these days, actually, but more often just played instrumentally.)

That's because no Brit would ever dream of singing "God save my gracious Me" or even "God save Our gracious One" in the sort of circumstances in which the anthem is sung. It is totally out of keeping with our national image. I would not do it and nor, I am glad to say, would Her Majesty. Heavens forfend!

Yes, when you put it like that, Ann, it's clear that she can't really sing along, can she? But Susan's

In tiara, specs, and pearls, she simply glumly stares,

had me in stitches. The tiara and specs, for starters, just look wrong together. She appears so secretarial whenever she's reading something, and that makes the tiara look OTT.

And Her Maj could at least smile while the anthem's being sung!

Ann, I had this discussion with a few friends. It looks so unpatriotic when she is just sitting there. I asked if "the Queen" is not a concept bigger than she--she being just a temporary representative, and therefore also able to sing in the institution's honor? But no it is really about her, for her individually, and so of course she cannot join in. But it still looks funny.

Jerome said:

I've struggled with this, and come up with two, but I'm not sure - your opinions would be welcome. Thanks.

Today, this important event will be seen
by the world. Every newspaper, each TV screen
will declare it, and millions will look on with awe,
just like all state occasions they’ve witnessed before,
as pomp is a word meaning “splendid display
at a function/event” - such as this one today!
The ceremony will be so dignified
and engender a feeling of national pride.
Coronations and funerals, weddings, - they’re all
guaranteed to attract a huge crowd and enthral
in a way that no other occasion can do,
for the people involved are all royalty. Who,
more than they, will inspire every nation to look?
This day has been made for the history book.
Make a note of the date and in future you’ll tell
all your grandchildren, “Yes, I remember it well!”

2nd attempt:

I’m now the Poet Laureate so I suppose I’m meant
to conjure up a poem for this notable event.

I’ll write a non-specific rhyme and that will always do
for any state occasion, never mind the ‘what’ or ‘who’.

Go, people, get your bunting out (except if someone’s died).
Let’s give the world a huge display of British National Pride.

It will say ‘Made in China’ on commemorative stuff
but as it won’t be used for long, who’s bothered if it’s duff?

Wow! This is easy-peasy; now I’ve earned my sherry barrel.
The nation does expect. Let’s hope they say, “Fantastic, Carol.”

The ‘job’ demands I write auspicious poetry or verse
for all these pomp and circumstance affairs. It could be worse –

At least I haven’t needed to incorporate a name;
this general purpose poem fits the whole Firm just the same.

Their perks may be unmerited,
but let no voice abuse them.
Our royals were inherited
(at least we did not choose them).

So raise a cheer and read a verse
to honor old traditions.
Remember that it could be worse:
they could be politicians.

Jayne, much prefer the spritely second piece and the Carol-barrel.

'It will say 'Made in China', the commemorative stuff' seems to work, though I'm not sure why (promoted 'the'?) but 'To celebrate these State occasions, but it could be worse' seems slightly broken-backed to my ear.

Good luck.

Thanks, Jerome. John has also told me he prefers the 2nd attempt. I value both of your opinions.

Should I have a cpaital 's' for 'state occasions', as you've written it? And what does 'broken-backed' mean, in this context? (Any suggestions for fixing that spine? ;))