The standard tip in a restaurant is 3%, but you can go as high as 5% for exceptional service.

Although British cars drive on the left, the rule does not apply to pedestrians.

It is considered good luck to pinch the Buckingham Palace Guards on their butts, but bad luck to tickle their noses with a feather.

No trip to England is complete unless you stand beneath Big Ben, ask people if they know what time it is, then laugh uproariously as they glance at their watches.

When speaking with an Englishman, it is considered rude not to say "pip pip" every few minutes for no apparent reason.

You will impress your British hosts immensely if you complain to the waiter that your beer isn't warm enough.

If you make it up north to Scotland, be sure to insist that they serve your haggis raw.

When visiting Westminster Abbey, ask your tour guide, "Is he related to Downton Abbey, or do they just happen to have the same last name?"

Medical care is free in Britain, so be sure to stock up on painkillers before you leave.

The red boxes that used to house telephones are now used as public toilets.

Pub grub is an English delicacy: do not be fobbed off with an ordinary meal when you have ordered this larval speciality.

Welcome, Adrian. Only too true of a certain salad in Bridport one wet Easter a couple of years ago.

A HUGE welcome, Adrian.

Congratulations on winning The Speccie comp this week!

(And here we are, with both our names on the same page - again ;))

Jayne

Now email has taken much of its business, Royal Mail encourages use of pillar-boxes and wall-boxes as supplementary litter-bins.

If parking on double yellow lines it is polite to tip traffic-wardens with the traditional phrase, 'Nelson touch, squire'.

Young people wearing hoods should be greeted with a piece of customary Cockney banter 'Going bald, then?'

Although London pigeons technically belong to Prince Charles he is happy for tourists to catch them and have them cooked in nearby restaurants.