Rabbit proposed that every inhabitant of the Hundred Acre Wood should receive an equal share of its riches. He explained his idea: “Everyone will get one spoonful of honey” - Pooh whispered to Piglet, “One spoonful? That’s not even a smackerel!” - “One thistle, and so on.” “Hah!” said Eeyore. “One thistle? I can’t live on that! Of course”, he said, looking pointedly at Pooh, “it’s all very well for some. They don’t even eat thistles, and they have jars and jars of honey stored away. But I don’t suppose anyone will notice when I die of starvation.” “Oh, Eeyore, of course they will!” cried Christopher Robin. “Or rather, what I meant was -” “Ahem!” coughed Owl. “I believe I have the solution.” Borrowing a pencil and a piece of paper from Christopher Robin, he laboriously wrote down his thought, and held it up for everyone to see:

“TO ECH AKAUDING TO HIS NEDES”.

I have just been reading a book by Geoffrey Willans that has deeply impressed me with its hidden wisdom and its simple yet uncompromising language which I believe will strike an echo with our traditional voters. Based on my reading, here is the outline manifesto that I am here to propose:

1. Down with Torrees
2. Cameron want to be pry minster agane but he uterly wet and a weed
3. Clegg uterly wet and a weed, he also want to be pry minster but he hav no chance, chiz!
4. Grene parties all skip like girlies saing “hello trees hello sky hello planet”
5. Laber is best party to guvven the country as any fule kno
6. When I becum pry minster I giv jobs to all loil suporters
7. Eksept my bro Miliband Senior who hav no chance and is uterly wet and a weed, enuff said

But John, apart from the bad sex, wasn't that what Mrs Thatcher already gave us?

I had a whale of a time in the 1980s - two daughters and three books of poetry. Things were never better. All hail Atilla the Hen. or is it Attila?