I never knew Nigel at all
But I saw him once at Whitehall
He was so proper and prim
Always the heavy and grim
Learning to speak with a drawl.

From every side they come!

Our Nigel is such a good egg,
Unlike Millibum, Cam’ron and Clegg,
He’s a marvellous bloke
For all elderly folk,
Not a nerd or a turd or a dreg.

You may think him extremist and sottish
With views that are racist and rottish,
But he’ll welcome your vote
To keep UKIP afloat -
Unless you are foreign (or Scottish).

Ah. A limerick that actually scans. A pleasant change.

Have at you!

Nigel wins again

The Paddies, the Taffs and the Scotch
Make a quite indescribable botch.
The English are best.
We beat all the rest,
And Nigel’s the fellow to watch!

Few will vote for the Ukipper's chef
Apart from the mad, blind and deaf
(Metaphorical use
Not vulgar abuse)
Which will hasten the fall of N.F.

What's N F Jerome and where is it rising?

When assessing Farage, you can watch
Him in chalk-stripe from collar to crotch,
But on listening, you’ll feel
He’s so down at the heel,
You’re best suited from some other swatch.

N.F. = Nigel Farage, John.

Nice one, the other Nigel, with 'swatch'.

Thank you, Jerome. I hadn't thought of that.

I initially read it as National Front. I wasn't far off.