"I don't have and never will have money, so why don't you just go meet someone else?"

"I have over 10,000 stamps in my collection, all mounted in cellophane folders."

"I want to make you really feel why prime numbers are cool."

"I'd be thrilled to hear why you've always thought there's a great poem--or perhaps an award-winning novel or screenplay--in the unpleasant personal anecdote that you're about to spend the next forty minutes entrusting to me!"

'I masturbate in public. In fact...'

"Would you like to come upstairs to my rented room and see my collection of bus transfers?"

Saying "I write poetry" to people you're just getting to know is like saying. . .

"I found a few head lice when I brushed my hair this morning. Shall I just give your scalp a quick check for you?"

I have some temperance tracts I think you might find helpful…

I'm from another century, with parents from another country, or, I'm not a drone just out to make some money, but, like a bee, I try to make some honey.

"It seems the milk in this carton has gone bad: would you take a sniff and tell me what you think?"