Hi, Barbara—

I would agree with Richard that deleting the last line and ending with an incomplete line would pack more punch.

Glenn

The Repairman
 

Hi Richard and Glenn,
Thanks for your helpful comments. I see your point about the last line. I'll take it out of Revision 2 in the thread and see how the poem looks/sounds without it.

Richard, you ask a couple of tough questions, since this is an invented character and an invented situation, and I know nothing about refrigerators, so coming up with a sound effect is hard for me. As for whether he fixed it, as I said, it's all invention, so however you want to imagine that is fine.

Thanks, again.--Barbara

Hi Barbara.

coming up with a sound effect
Perhaps swapping 'note' for something like 'clank' or 'gurgle' might serve? (Goes towards N's state of refrigerator ignorance.)

RG

Great idea, Richard. Thanks.