Eratosphere

Eratosphere (https://www.ablemuse.com/erato/index.php)
-   Metrical Poetry (https://www.ablemuse.com/erato/forumdisplay.php?f=13)
-   -   For a True Friend (https://www.ablemuse.com/erato/showthread.php?t=36259)

Jim Ramsey 02-02-2025 07:07 AM

Hi Sam,

Thanks for the feedback. I've rewritten the last couple lines as a result. Overall, the poem seems to be getting less cutesy and mocking and more grown-up in tone. Sometimes I like word play at the expense of message and maybe it's time to self-assess.

Jim

R. S. Gwynn 02-02-2025 03:46 PM

Maybe "This tribute from the morning's bucket list"?

Jim Ramsey 02-02-2025 05:28 PM

Hi Sam,

Yes, thanks. I like your suggested line better.

Jim


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