Hello, Jim,

Thank you for your thoughtful response and for reinforcing Julie’s interpretation. It’s always fascinating when readers uncover layers in a poem that even the author hadn’t consciously intended—and this may be one of those cases. I hadn’t initially considered that angle, but I welcome it, as it adds a deeper dimension to the poem.

My main concern was ensuring the imagery didn’t lean toward Victorian melodrama (as Glenn’s take suggested), and I believe the current revision of line two has resolved that.

I truly appreciate your insight, Jim—it's given me even more to think about in terms of how this piece resonates.

Cheers,
...Alex

I like the alliteration of sweat-slick spree.Going with the exercise theme it is interesting to read the line “lights flickering dim through haze,” as the narrator is working so hard the atmosphere around him is being affected. Overall the descriptions create an atmosphere of a narrator in battle with his atmosphere trying to overcome the physical changes in his body and environment in a minimal poem.

I like Alex,

Perhaps the somewhat archaic ‘ablaze’ could be recast.

Jan