After reading Matt's comment I can't add anything. I did feel a dropoff after the first two stanzas.

It's true Ted Hughes wrote about animals. Crow is a marvelous book. I don't know if you've read that or his other poems. They aren't studies of animals. They're brutal metaphors. I don't see you going in that direction, which is fine. If you haven't read Hughes it may serve you well to do so and see what his work is actually about.

I like what you've done here and suggest using Matt's notes.

Thanks, John. Yes, I'll definitely apply at least some of Matt's advice. I've read Hughes, alright, though Crow isn't the kind of direction I want.

Thanks for adding your voice to this.

Trev

I only mentioned Hughes to point out how different your poem is from his work. I didn’t mean to suggest that was a negative. I like what you’ve done.

Hi John,

I didn't take the Hughes reference as a negative either. I was just echoing your sentiment that it isn't the direction I wnat here. I do like a lot of Hughes's poetry, though Crow didn't hit me in a big way. Maybe my reply sounded too curt. Apologies if that was the case. Time constraints are always a factor with a 6-year-old daughter nearby!

All the best,

Trev