.
Whenever you see a rhinoceros
that's snuffling where my saucer was,
you’ll know he has swallowed a cup of tea,
consumed a crumpet and gobbled up me.
.

I think She Who Must Be Obeyed will wear 'stiffy'. Whatever it may mean.Thanks for your encouragement, Terese. I will return to my last.

Whenever you see a rhinoceros,
don’t try to invite it to tea.
It’s as rude as a crass hippopotamus
and will not even RSVP.
The manners of many hyenas
are not what you’d wish them to be.
Their maniacal laugh will alarm the giraffe
and they’d rather drink blood than bohea.
Just to get chimpanzees to say “thank you” or “please”
or to learn how to balance their cups on their knees
is a nearly impossible task.
That is equally true of a warthog or gnu,
which will not state a preference for one lump or two--
and as for an ostrich, don’t ask.

The Unrhymable Rhino

Anent the unrhymable rhino,
As Nash knew and Porter knew, I know —
In English there’s nothing unrhymable.
So be in no doubt of it, I'm a bel-
Iever that only a twerp’ll
Say rhymes are quite lacking for purple.

I'll leave out the teacher who’d Chaucer us,
And no way I’ll stoop to trichoceros
(Rime pauvre, I say) or embosseress,
Contrived for a lady embosser.
But that driver today that I squeezed by —
A move she was clearly displeased by —
No lady, she yelled out, “You tosser!”
(I dread I’ll again come across her).
Think how such road-ragers “Tosser!” us
Whenever you see a rhinoceros.

xxx

Nash had a patent on prepoceros , but I suppose he's had it long enough, I think though I'll essay a couple of my own coinages for the redoubtable Lucy;

Whenever you see a Rhinoceros

Whenever you see a rhinoceros
I guarantee it won’t offer us
a battement sur le cou-de-pied--
while limbering up to dance the ballet.

The intricate steps of gavottes
tie its feet up in knots;
not overly keen to begin the beguine,
a quickstep, a reel, a square dance quadrille,
it abhors chaconnes and fox-trots.

The rhinoceros seeking a mate
is very reserved on a date,
its inherited bigness inhibits its jigness,
and so will suppose tapping its toes,
to be an undignifying state.

It’s a four-left-legged colosseros
whenever you see a rhinoceros.

Doesn't "preposerous" come out of Bert Lahr's mouth in The Wizard of Oz?

The rhino is a homely beast,
For human eyes he's not a feast.
Farewell, farewell, you old rhinoceros,
I'll stare at something less prepoceros.

I'm not sure when Nash penned this but there's a fair chance it preceded Lahr if not the attempts of so many children to get their tongues around it.

1.

Whenever you see a rhinoceros,
just say, "I'm glad to meet you!"
Don't panic. They're herbivorous.
That means they will not eat you.

2.

Whenever you see a rhinoceros,
ask him, Do you rhyme with this,
or do you rhyme instead with thus?
Which is it, kind rhinoceros?

And maybe this;

Whenever you see a Rhinoceros

Whenever you see a rhinoceros
in the bath, it's a pretty safe guess,
that he's trying to be less odoroferous
to impress a rhinocerosess.

Shades of Grey

White Rhinos? They're not white. The word
for "wide" in Africaans, misheard,
is how these wide-mouthed grazers came
to bear a title so absurd.

Black Rhinos' hue is just the same
as that of White ones, though their name
was picked to keep the two unblurred.
A blunder. Who deserves the blame?

Regardless, here's a handy tip:
Black Rhinos use a beak-shaped lip
to browse; White Rhinos, previous-
ly mentioned, use a broader grip.

Judge by skin-tone, miss the bus;
judge by mouthings, rarely slip.
(And not just useful to discuss
whenever you see a rhinoceros.)