Martin, how about italics in L2 on not and I'd, just to make sure we get the meter full-strength?

Excellent idea, Maryann. I did it. Thanks!

Bastard! You drive so close, you force
me off the road into the grass.
You wouldn’t do that to a horse,
you’d be respectful when you pass.
I bet you’re short and fat outside
your flashy car. You look so tall,
but I can see a cushion tied
onto your seat. You’re rather small,
and far too old for red sports cars.
I hope your tyres blow on a bend.
You nearly knocked my handlebars.
I bet you bought that blonde, my friend.
I heard her high-pitched laughter squawk
as I was driven off the road.
May she discover you’re all torque
and may you suffer, Mr Toad.

I really like this, Janet. Excellent. The only problem is that according to the 'rules' you can only do "a rhymed curse penned by a motorist on a cyclist" ... not vice versa. (Is that right, John?)

It is a cyclist Martin.
You nearly knocked my handlebars.
That's how N could see the cushion.

Thanks ;-)

Oh--I thought it said "or" not "on". OH I see. I screwed up. Chain of man kicks dog. I sent it too under a pseudonym.

You're welcome, Janet. I wish the rule did say "or"! That would open up so many more possibilities. When I used to ride my bike a lot, I had close encounters with cars, and I would love to curse them in verse, which you have done so well.

Speccie Road Rage
 

Ghosts of my pedestrian forebears,
flattened by your heedless wheels,
beg me now to write and tell you
how the roadkill hedgehog feels ---

"May ABS completely fail you,
punctures punctuate each trip,
Road Tax treble, Wardens plague you.
pistons seize and clutches slip.

And may your steering wheel lock solid
as a lorry and its load
comes towards you doing ninety
on the wrong side of the road.

But may you live just long enough
to realise its screaming wheels
have done to you what you have done
to us --- before your blood congeals."

Ghosts of my pedestrian forebears ...

That's excellent.

Martin,
You spoke for all of us hedgehogs. Imaginative and excellent. They don't have hedgehogs in Australia but they litter the roads of New Zealand. I used to feed one that lived behind a mulberry tree belonging to the Queen, (as all large mulberry trees do) in Putney. Charming little Tiggywinkles they are..
Janet

Hedgehogs make an extraordinarily loud noise when they are doing... well, what Mr and Mrs Tiggiwinkle do. I suppose it's the prickles.