Thanks RLC.

Some spurn inaction, itch to fly;
Jumping off cliffs to live, some die.
Some stay dead stones at every age,
So never fly beyond their cage.



P.S. I'm so used to my name spelled so, I barely notice actually. Still thanks anyhow.
-Erik

Well done, Erik! Maybe a period or semi-colon to close line 1, to be rid of the dreaded Comma Splice (each of the first two lines stand as separate sentences).

Thanks for pointing that out, RCL, and earlier suggestions/observations!


Some spurn inaction, itch to fly;
Jumping off cliffs to live, some die.
Some stay dead stones at every age,
So never fly beyond their cage.



-Erik

Boldly Going Nowhere: Alex Salmond Blocked From Flight After Booking Ticket As Star Trek Character

The former Scottish First Minister was left red-faced after British Airways staff refused him entry onto the plane when they saw ‘James T Kirk’ on the ticket


Alex Salmond, it seems, has gone dotty;
His flight plans became rather knotty.
But why didn’t this jerk
Who believed he was Kirk
Simply call, and say “Beam me up, Scotty”?

Because that would have proved that he was not James Tiberius Kirk, who was a stickler for protocol when interacting with his crew. He would have addressed his Chief Engineer as Mr. Scott in any operational situation. "Scotty" was strictly for off-duty conversations.

Ann, with all due respect for your evidently compendious knowledge of the subject (I didn't know that Kirk's middle name was Tiberius), I must beg to differ:

Despite the phrase entering into popular culture, it is a misquotation and has never been said in any of the television series or films. The complete phrase was eventually said by William Shatner in the audio adaptation of his novel Star Trek: The Ashes of Eden.

In the Original Series episodes "The Gamesters of Triskelion" and "The Savage Curtain", Kirk said, "Scotty, beam us up"; in the episode "This Side of Paradise," Kirk simply said, "Beam me up;" in the animated episodes "The Lorelei Signal" and "The Infinite Vulcan", when he said, "Beam us up, Scotty"; in Star Trek IV, saying, "Scotty, beam me up"; and in Star Trek Generations, by saying, "Beam them out of there, Scotty".

Thanks, Brian. Well, it was worth a little stir. And I'm more of a TNG Trekkie anyway. She said, hooked and wriggling.

I agree about TNG, Ann - how did they ever manage to persuade Patrick Stewart to say "To boldly go"? - but the one I liked best, especially towards the end, was Deep Space 9. The writing and plot construction in certain episodes actually verged on the adult, although I realize that is probably not the primary quality that Star Trek addicts seek.

Fanatic Offends Due Protocol &.,
 

He heeds his dream, and shuns his work,
Tries to fly high named Captain Kirk.
But they denied the airy trek,
For the audition proved a wreck.
Most adult fantasies are steamy;
This one's was saying: "Scotty, beam me
Up to the cockpit, from the dock."
Yet Kirk says Scott, thus Trekkies block!
"Beam me up Scotty" only beams
The red face of high flying dreams.

Erik,

A Swiftian commentary, indeed

Douglas, thank you! Nods to those who fleshed out discourse on the amusing topic.
Best,
Erik

Big Ben is sure to come up in a comp soon. Heads up.

http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-london-34565724

http://www.reuters.com/article/2015/...0SD1EK20151019

Were you a believer
that Oscar killed Reeva
on purpose, ...or not?
The poor girl was shot
through a bathroom door (locked)
and the whole world was shocked.
Oscar's now been released:
speculation's increased.

That's fairly true and truly fair as can be; nicely done Jayne!

Thanks, Erik. It's nearly 3am here and I should have gone to bed ages ago but I was reading this thread and the poem popped into my head. It was going to be a bit longer but...

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Oh, dear Lord - I have just heard the following update on this morning's (Radio 4) news.

"He won't be electronically tagged but there will be restrictions on his movement."

I gradually realised that the funny little reedy noise in the background was not static crackle - it was me, laughing.

I think I may need to have my head examined by professionals.

The 'correctional supervision' (house arrest) rules include No access to firearms, but don't mention bladelegs . . . Oops! :eek:

I shot her through the bathroom door.
I know that what I did was wrong.
But I really, really had to go . . .
And she was taking much too long.

Hillary Testifies at Behghazi Hearing
 

Liar, liar,
Pantsuit on fire.

Hillary Testifies at Benghazi Hearing
 

But though they tried to pillory
Hillary,
It seems that their unbelievably stupid committee merely enhances
Her chances.

And the rest of the news ...

Heavily armed drug cops raid retiree’s garden, seize okra plants

(They thought it was marijuana. They apologised for the mistake, but …)

In Atlanta, suspicion still lingers;
The cops, on the look-out for ringers
For dope, got it sussed,
And they’ve made a new bust
Of ten thousand or more ladies’ fingers.

************************************************** ******

America has a day for everything. Recently, it was both Reptile Awareness Day and Apple Day. (There are times when American pronunciation comes in handy . . .)

“Did you wonder”, the snake in the grass
Said to Adam, “Why God made that lass?
One bite of this fruit
And you’ll find her so cute
That you’ll know what to do with her ass.”

Then there’s . . .

Babbling Day

When Republicans gibber and gabble
And blither and blather and babble
About “Rights”, what is meant
Is for just one percent -
The rest of the country is rabble.

National Knee Day

He said to the bimbo, “Well, jeez,
Today is in honour of knees,
So to show my respect
In a way that’s correct,
Let me ask you: “Get down on them – please!” ”

National Nut Day

She was crazy for nuts, was young Joan,
But they must be organically grown.
“Give me nuts!” she would rant, “Oh,
Untouched by Monsanto!”
I offered her two of my own.

Brian,

Regarding your post 60; unfortunately, you are right.
Regarding post 61, these are some of the best limericks I've seen in a long time.

Comet Lovejoy's in the news.
The experts have detected
evidence of sweets and booze.
With that name? "Unexpected"?

It seems that Jeb Bush is disenchanted with the Republican Presidential campaign, and said:“I’ve got a lot of really cool things I could do other than sit around, being miserable, listening to people demonize me and me feeling compelled to demonize them.

I’ve got plenty of cool things to do …
Lemme think, I am sure there’s a few …
Run for Governor? Nah,
Been there, done that … Hey, Pa,
Can you maybe suggest one or two?


Donald Trump Quote of Day (via CNN). “It has not been easy for me… My father gave me a small loan of a million dollars.”

I can tell you, my life has been tough; it
Is hard when you’re having to rough it.
A million? The pig!
Hardly pays for my wig.
But the true poor, you ask? I say “Stuff it!”

http://www.space.com/30933-falling-s...ext-month.html

Confirmed UFO Spotted Headed For Earth

Alien nuts and NASA's best accord
For once! An object's hurtling right toward
The Earth from space. Now scientists don't know
Quite what it is. Voila a UFO!
" WT190F",
The name they gave is fit, not awkward, if
It's shortened down, called WTF.

.

Will 30 be the new 80?
 

UK population expected to grow and age faster, new ONS estimates show

Poor devils! Ageing at the normal rate
Is bad enough, but this acceleration
Will lead our youngsters to a ghastly fate -
A prematurely geriatric nation.

Rand Paul to Filibuster Rising Debt Ceiling

The candidate aiming to muster
A comically long filibuster
Tries not to be brisk,
For he then runs the risk
Of looking like General Custer.

(Good luck Rand.)

Injured Deer Walks into Hospital Emergency Room

Because the patient had no doe,
the doctors passed the buck
outside. Oh, deer. Oh, shoot. Oh, no.
Hippocrates would cluck.

(Actually, the typo in the fourth paragraph of the linked article might inspire a more interesting poem.)

A few more Days
 

American Beer Day

Said Fields: “I heartily sneer
At the drink called “American Beer”.
The muck in this beaker?
Like water, but weaker -
It’s water diluted, I fear.”

National Potato Day

“No potato shall sully my lip
If it’s sprayed with some chemical dip”,
Says the girl. He agrees.
“Well, my tuber should please -
It’s completely organic”, says Chip.

National Chocolate Day

“When I feel like a mid-morning snack
I reach for some chocolate, black –
Ooops! That word’s not PC,
So the chocolate for me
Is ‘pigmentally-challenged’ ”, said Jack.

***********************************

Oh, a dear little bunny! I grab it -
Friends tell me it’s not a nice habit –
Then bite off its head ...
But perhaps I’ve misled
You; it’s only a chocolate rabbit.

National Cat Day

When I looked at the sign, I went bats.
It said “Pussy for sale”. I thought, “That’s
What I need”, rang the bell –
She was gorgeous as hell!
But all she was selling was cats.

Ezra's Birthday

Pound

The Pope of poems
The Raja of rhyme
The Caliph of critics
The Satrap of slime

Undecided voters say they won't be swayed
(headline in Philadelphia Inquirer)

We shall not be moved
to vote for candidates by nobody beloved.
We’re not about to leave our workplaces or our sofas
just to support some doofus
who feeds the electorate the same old crock
while munching from the nosebag of the brothers Koch.
Sure, the world is going to hell in a bicycle-, bushel- in-, out-, waste-, or green and yellow basket,
but trading one corrupt and spineless lackey for another won’t help anything, so don’t ask it.

Esther, the first really punchy post on this thread for some time. Great flourish at the end. Respect!

Kobe Bryant on his New Epoch
 

Nothing but net? He's now nothing but air!
Champ Kobe pushes forty; but he's fair—
He beats around no bush, nor blames his luck,
Asked how he's played, reports—“I freaking suck.”


http://bleacherreport.com/articles/2...aign=editorial

Dah Bait
 

A version is now on New Verse News

http://newversenews.blogspot.com/201...xt-debate.html

The Polls

Carson leaks a muted fart;
Trump’s is like a trumpet blast:
This duet is off the chart;
The lower ranks are rankly gassed.

Bsu
 

Terrific!
Recent Time Magazine story

Oh, say can you see,
Trump’s University
A scam that has failed
And now is derailed.
The RICO predicates
Might beat his bets.

George W. Bush distanced himself from his father’s criticisms, calling Cheney and Rumsfeld assets to his administration.

Said Dubya, “Well, heck, I ain’t brainy;
I can’t tell a Kurd from Khameini.
But it’s easy to score,
Making money from war,
With advisers like Rumsfeld and Cheney.”

Ben Carson: “It is important to remember that amateurs built the Ark and it was the professionals that built the Titanic.”

Although it is true that old Noah,
An amateur builder, was slower
To finish his boat,
Yet the Ark stayed afloat -
The Designer could not have been pro-er.

National “Love Your Lawyer” Day

Sixty lawyers deep-sixed? Well, take heart;
The trial was state-of the-art.
“We find”, said the jury
With sorrow and fury,
“Too few, but at least it’s a start.”

Saxophone Day

The bimbo was learning the sax,
And her teacher had said “Just relax,
Purse your lips, and then blow”,
So she did it. “Like so?”
The lesson had gone off the tracks.

News Values

J. Corbyn's views? They’re for the birds!
Blah! Blah! What counts on page or screen
Is that he failed to mouth the words
When standing for God Save The Queen.

Now, in that grubby rag, The Sun,
The same game at the Cenotaph.
His bow this time, but too fine-spun−
Wow!−even for the Telegraph!

Is Ben Carson an Imposter?
Matt Bai, Yahoo News

Is Carson a signifyin’ trickster
a fraud whose fallacies trip off his tongue
while playin’ the dozens out among
the addled who can’t foresee disaster?

Head Lines

A ball bounced off my head when I was ten
and football helmets scrambled brains again
every fall for eight more playing years.
Some days, my words are tortured, rambling slurs,
but today I’m feeling proud as hell:
my brains are like a player’s in the NFL.

http://www.msn.com/en-us/sports/nfl/...gt5?li=BBgzzfc