Love in the Time of Cholera
Don't Drink the Water

Bob, where do you send this?

Here's the link to the details, Marion.

Roger - Bob Schechter won this week's Style Invitational - congratulations! To give you an idea of the personal treatment contestants get, here is what the Empress wrote about him:

It’s the first winning entry — but by no means the first ink — for rookie phenom Robert Schechter, who’s blotted up 46 inks, including this seventh “above-the-fold” entry, since his debut in the limerick contest of Week 931. While limericks and other poems are what brought him to the Invite — he’s been published many times in light-verse journals — Robert has since plunged into all aspects of the Invitational and the Devotees page, often sending the maximum 25 entries in a week (not this time, though — nobody sent that many, not even Mad Maxers Kevin Dopart and Jeff Contompasis). I hope that by winning the Inkin’ Memorial, Robert isn’t too disappointed that he’s now out of the running for the Losers’ Cantinkerous award, the plaque that goes to the highest-scoring Loser who’s never finished in first place. (For several years now, that honor has rested with 76-time Loser Kyle Hendrickson, according to Elden Carnahan’s all-time stats.)

Frank

For those who may not have wished to follow the link provided in the above post, here's a full precis of contest examples, full description, prizes(*) awarded, deadline, rules for submitting, and date of announced results.
(*) some, or all, prizes are of a dubious nature; suffice to say you won't be getting any £25 checks (nor cheques for that matter).
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Style Invitational Week 971: Double booking

By Pat Myers, Published: May 10

Front cover: The Very Hungry Caterpillar
Back cover: The Very Full Robin

Front: The Hobbit
Back: The Bobbitt, a shorter tale

The author Yann Martel, a couple of years ago, planned to publish what he called a “flip book,” but he didn’t mean the kind you pull your thumb across to watch the pictures move. He meant that he’d write two complementary books inside the same covers — one starting in front, the other on the back. (Martel evidently changed his mind, although he did end up writing a book about an author who did this.) Anyway, as Loser Kevin Dopart suggests: Come up with a double book with a humorous connection; the first title must be an actual book, while the other may be your own fictitious title (as in Kevin’s examples above) or a second real book. Feel free to add a short description if that enhances the humor.

Winner gets the Inkin’ Memorial, the Style Invitational trophy. Second place wins a very special item, created by Jolene Mosley and donated by Andrea Kelly; it is like the ones sent to male members of Congress during the recent all-male hearing on birth control funding. Loser Anne Paris describes it as “a lovely hand-knitted replica of intimate female parts, suggesting what Martha Stewart would be inspired to create if she went to the gynecologist while stoned,” while fellow Loser Craig Dykstra calls it a “she-cozy.” (You may choose a standard runner-up prize instead.)

Other runners-up win their choice of a coveted Style Invitational Loser T-shirt, a yearned-for Loser Mug or the new, ardently desired Grossery Bag. Honorable mentions get a lusted-after Loser magnet. First Offenders get a smelly, tree-shaped air “freshener” (Fir Stink for their first ink). E-mail entries to losers@washpost.com or fax to 202-334-4312. Deadline is Monday, May 21; results published June 10 (online June 8). No more than 25 entries per entrant per week. Include “Week 971” in your e-mail subject line or it might be ignored as spam. Include your real name, postal address and phone number with your entry. See contest rules and guidelines at wapo.st/StyleInv.

FRONT COVER
The Joy of Sex
BACK COVER
The Boy in Striped Pyjamas

You know how it is with us Brits

Hey, Brendan, who cares about the money? It's the kudos we're after; that's what really counts!!! ;)

I've just entered this comp for the second time, and would be so thrilled to break into the US market.

(Remember that we have very kindly shared our Spectator, The Oldie, New Statesman and Literary Review competitions with you guys - so fair's fair!)

I sincerely hope I get one of those prizes "of a dubious nature" sometime! :D

Jayne

Jayne, the Style Invitational does publish winners outside the US, including England. Last Sunday, for example, included Ann Martin from Bracknell, England.

Here's a link to a pdf of what the page in the newspaper looked like, in case you're interested. It's in the Style section of the Sunday newspaper, which has a circulation of about 700,000 copies. (Sometimes there isn't room in the paper for all the winners and some of them only appear in the online results).

I sincerely hope I get one of those prizes "of a dubious nature" sometime!

Jayne, if I ever win one, I'd be more than happy to send you mine.:eek:

Thanks for the link, Bob; there's some really witty, funny stuff there.
And there's a glimmer of hope for me, then, as Ann Martin's win proves.

Brian, I'll hold you to that! (With your track record I mightn't have long to wait! :D)

Jayne

This was a winner! Here.

Kudos to Jayne!!!

Congrats, Jayne!

But at the risk of sounding crabby, I have to say that with three or four exceptions, the other winners seemed to me far less amusing than the things people have posted here. In fact, most of them failed to produce in me any reaction quite as animated as a blank stare ...

I thought the top winner was funny. Some, like my own and Brendan Beary's, are based on topical news, which you have to know about to get.

But Jayne's was the funniest.

I agree many very funny examples were posted here. But Jayne's was the best.

Senior Moment

And don't forget that you have until the end of the day on Monday to enter the limerick competition. Lots of you already have posted movie limericks on a different thread, so do send them in. They'll also take limericks on plays, books and TV shows. (Brits should probably stick to TV shows that are known in the US. Everyone knows Downton Abbey, but not a whole lot else these days).

Thank you very much, Bob, Lance, Brian and John. Tail-gaters was my first attempt at this fun comp, so I was thrilled to get a win on my second try.

This is the last day of the West Chester conference and I'm sitting with the lovely Kate Benedict beside me. It's been a fantastic week but many of us are now in a zombie-like state! I'm so tired I'm struggling to put a coherent sentence together; there's a certain irony about that, as I'm at a writers' conference :rolleyes:

Jayne

Oh Jayne, fabulous!

And glad you had a wonderful WC.

Charlotte

"This week’s “HAW” by Sunday Style Editor Lynn Medford — who this past Sunday took the stage clad in a giant pig costume in the Post Hunt, just as the Queen of England did during her own party the same weekend — went to “Senior Moments”/ “Senior Moments” by First Offender Jayne Osborn, one of the light-verse poets who found the Invite during the tailgaters contest of Week 970, and came back for more (I’m hoping lots more). My predecessor, the Czar of The Style Invitational, also was partial to Jayne’s entry.

Congratulations, Jayne!

Congrats, Jayne! (Or have I already said that? Maybe I should reread "Senior Moments".)

Jayne, I've been meaning to congratulate you...what was it again? Oh yeah. Senior Moments. (Was that it?)
Marion

Charlotte, Frank, Brian and Marion,

Did I do something to earn all these congratulations? Oh yeah, I remember now...

The great thing about senior moment jokes is that they can be repeated and repeated! ;)

But seriously, thanks for all your kind remarks.

Jayne