I must say rather liked that too, Matt, but it didn't fit the revised structure. I'm not sure good folk at The Oldie would have got the reference anyway.

We oldsters have never heard of Bruno Brookes.

Quite. bbbbbbbbbbbb

Go on then, Rob. Educate me. WTF is he?

I hardly think educate is the word, but Bruno Brookes was a Radio 1 DJ in the 1980s.

I doubt you are a better man for that information.

Problem with having a long submission period is the deadline creeps up on you. A reminder to all to submit!

The shop that isn't there stands on Imaginary Square
in the town that doesn’t actually exist.
It has sweets ad infinitum (which will bite back if you bite ‘em)
that no self-respecting nipper could resist.

It sells Sherbet Chocolate Brittle that might crack your teeth a little,
and Pear Drops that will coat ‘em and corrode.
There’s a Special Cherry Bullet that combusts inside your gullet
and a Fizzball that will make your mouth explode.

There are luscious Luckie Tatties, so beloved by Scottish fatties,
Cream Toffees with the property of glue.
There are Rhino-horn Torpedoes that work well on small libidos
and Fudges that no mouth could ever chew.

There are Turkish Lemon Colas that will rot away your molars
and a rather vicious Lemon Mega Twist
in the shop that isn't there along Imaginary Square
in the town that doesn’t actually exist.

Oh Peter, I really like that.

Oh Peter, I really like that. I'm a Scottish fatty really.

Terry Pratchett meets J.K. Rowling!!
Excellent, Peter.