|
Nice try, Carol. And thanks for trying. But seeing what kind of post gets a reply, and what doesn't, sure takes the fun out of this for some of us. One last stab to retrieve both the thread and the reputation of a lovely little form:
Ponder our ancestor, Australopithecus: he'd no idea what he would become; maybe that proves that in antediluvian times it already was smart to be dumb. Cheers, Jan |
Quote:
children yet born to us, living in satellites up in the sky. Hurling through Outer Space, far from the Earth we loved, they'll be the human race after we die. |
Quote:
"CRYing in THE kitchen" is definitely a stretch, but any more so than "HARDly Jim YOU deceive" [my tin ear hears something more like: / - / | | / - /, which has a pleasant lilt of its own] or "YOUR fragile EEgo if" [I hear - / - / - ', nice iambic trimeter, though that last stress is pretty light] or "YOU tell it TO believe" [I hear - / - ' - /; hmmm, iambic trimeter again, that stress on "TO" surely being as hard to justify as the one on "THE"]? This reader would be quite willing to "play along" and hear a dactylic cadence, even a "comic" one, but can't seem to do so. Alas, rhythm shouldn't reside SOLELY in the ear of the writer. Sorry. But all in fun. Cheers, Jan [member of OPIDD -- the Order to Preserve the Integrity of the Double Dactyl] |
Withdrawn.
[This message has been edited by Roger Slater (edited February 04, 2002).] |
Hi, Roger--
I have precious little appetite for street brawls over trivia, and would never have commented on your metrics here had you not explicitly made exaggerated claims for your ditty at Jim's expense. Though your remarks on his metrical failures may well have been warranted, I sensed more than a bit of pot and kettle. I too sometimes "stretch" natural readings to maintain dactylic cadence, relying on the momentum of the rhythm to span the chasm: Fatal astronomy! Nicholas Romanov, last on the throne of the great Russian czars, must have been blind to the incontrovertible family fate written red in the stars. (I trust the reader to play along and indulge the attempt to avoid stresses on "Russian" and "written" here. Even so, this d-d is not entirely successful rhythmically.) But there are stretches and there are stretches, and in this case your additional rhyme on "deceive/believe" ironically calls even more attention to those words, working against your wish to downplay the stresses on their final syllables. "YOU tell it TO believe" (natural iambic) is begging as huge an indulgence as "CRYing in THE kitchen" (natural trochaic), especially since in context the stress you want on "YOU" is dramatically and rhetorically highly suspect. Yes, your "Ponder our progeny" works metrically and in other regards (though your waiving the "required" d-d word in l. 6 makes your triumph less than complete). My compliments on it, but that wasn't the issue here. Cheers, Jan |
Jan, I didn't know there was a required d-d word in L6. Live and learn.
|
Roger, here's a great link on dd's. You'll find out they do get in your blood.
http://www.stinky.com/dactyl/dactyl.html Carol |
Never tried one of these. Let me see...
Floppily - moppily Old Albert Einstein had Frizzy white hair like a Janitor's mop. He proved mathematically, Quite catagorically, What matters is inside Not on the top. |
Titan of writing verse,
Emily Dickinson hardly would budge from her Amherst abode. Draped in white garments she agoraphobically wrote secret books that she secretly sewed. She could not grasp the world unmetaphysically so she developed her own special code. I am so grateful for Emily Dickinson and for the poems her great genius bestowed. |
<FONT >"Higgledy piggledy" doesn't mean squat to me. If you have something to say please rephrase. Don't ask a lot of me. Since my lobotomy words are no longer a game my mind plays. </FONT s> [This message has been edited by Roger Slater (edited February 04, 2002).] |
Torchery-Sorcery Joan of Arc, heretic Burned at the stake though the Battles she won, Met up with Peter, who Welcomed the maiden with Epigrammatical "Greetings, well done!" |
Normally-Formally
Curtis is following Dactyls around and a- Round with a curse: Probably typically Mad since he cannot be Complementarily Straight and per-verse. |
Edison said it's in
sweat and not genius that true inspiration comes, but don't forget lightbulbs are here because, coincidentally, genius instructed him where he should sweat. |
Misery-fisery,
cold-shouldered Romeo, not at all liking the chill that he felt, went out to buy her a manocryometer, hoping to see if his sweetie would melt. . . . . manocryometer: "an instrument for determining the variations in the freezing or melting point of substances with changes in pressure." Jan |
GOOD one, Jan!
(music) |
Thanks, music.
|
DIRTY DACTYLS
Penis and testicle, Vulva and labia, Represent aspects of One and the same Human endeavor that Some folks combine till they've Hermaphroditically Lit their own flame. |
Trying out rhymes again
Logical schmogical Johnnie von Neumann's gal bought him a matrix with vectors and tea. Sillily hillbilly Bob bought his nil-willy sister a Valentine's card and a rose. Happily pappily Kira took grappily Solan's long beard in the fist of her hand. Always the Borges friend Trying out rhymes again Greetings good fellows, I'm back in the game. ------------------ Svein Olav .. another life |
Quad/wrangle
Formerly-normerly Curtis is certainly grammatologically skewing his verse: fitting his syntax a- round a lone wording that's hapax legomenon— Can it get worse? <dir><dir>*</dir></dir> Shrilliest-deifist shouting his name: "Well it's Gaius Petronius born on the West Coast of America touting the coming of Exobiologist X," you suggest. <dir><dir>*</dir></dir> Flibbertigibbet, you mean, if he's anything— abiogenisis has a new model: wordiest-curdiest springer of dirtiest rhythms and meters that're lifeless as dottle. <dir><dir>*</dir></dir> Shmokin'ly-brokenly Curtis is tokin' the pipe that will never be making its rounds: extrajudicially puffing his lunacy— "Purposive blowing of smoke that abounds?" —C. |
Hope
Feathery-weathery, Emily Dickinson Wrote of the small bird that Perches and sings. I hope that Emily Paradisiacally Flutters with angels on Heavenly wings. Victoria Gaile |
Weatherhed-fetherhed
Emily Dickinson where is that small bird that perches and sings? It's found a stone statue somebody made of you, sits on your marble head {and other things}. Sorry, it's been a crappy day *groan* [This message has been edited by Robert Swagman (edited April 05, 2002).] |
Obstacle-lobstacle!
Alex has ardently (characteristically) stomped a few bugs: maybe his Nikes are slippery-slickery-- cytotaxonomists sift through his rugs. --C. |
Hopalong plopalong
Talleyrand-Perigord, Under the monarchy Priest, lover, wit. Rising to eminence Napoleonically, Until dismissed as a Sock full of shit. My first poetry since my long forgotten adolescence, when poetry erupted like acne! |
Time to bring this thread back to the top for a while. I'm getting tired of iambics...
Chivalry-trivalry Sir Walter Raleigh did lay down his over cloak - for it was seen! But understandably that was his livelihood thinking up more ways to brown-nose the Queen. |
Snortily-sportily,
youthful George W squandered his brain cells on more than just pot. Everyone says that he's not too intelligent, though he was smart enough not to get caught. Mopily-dopily, federal prisoners rot in their cells for pos- session of drugs. Stupid suspension of citizens' liberties ups the net worth of Co- lombian thugs. |
Dope-ily mope-ily
Crack's little children are constantly crying for relief from pain all because parents are mope-ily dope-ily abusing their liberties again and again |
Liberties? Fliberties!
Medical prophecies only encourage this "crackpot idea" ; prenatal punishment stems from just one parent’s physiological need too feel "free"-er. ------------------ zz [This message has been edited by zbaby (edited January 07, 2003).] |
Crackery-quackery,
verbal side-trackery, used to impose Prohib- ition again. Blackity-flakkity, studied statistically, drugs arrests heavily target black men . Prisony-wizeny, poor people languish in jail till they're old, for a trivial crime . Hollywood-Jollywood, wealthy celebrities do what they want and are pardoned each time . |
Sickly-Domesticly
beat up their spouses and screw up the children the rest of the time, using their vehicles flattening pedestrians- abusing a drug is a trivial crime? |
Shady-debaty,
with dubious logic, you punish potentially possible crime. Punish the actual deed that's committed, not those you predict will oc- cur in good time. [This message has been edited by RosaRugosa (edited January 08, 2003).] |
Liberty-schmiberty
RosaRugosa girl "poor little me's" who would do what they please "Let's not take action til somebody else has died - just treat the symptom and leave the disease." [This message has been edited by Jerry Glenn Hartwig (edited January 08, 2003).] |
Treatment-defeatment,
is that what you call putting people in prison for what they inhale? "Put 'em in prison with rapists and murderers!" Why not as well put all drinkers in jail? |
Excellent-Schmexcellent
RosaRugosa lass that seems an ideal sug- gestion to do Taxpayers won't have to pay for their weaknesses and rapist and murderers need something to do [This message has been edited by Jerry Glenn Hartwig (edited January 08, 2003).] |
Jerry-so-merry, you'd
close all the bars--except those used to keep every- one in their cage? Under your plan, there would be no one left to pay taxes! (Your parties must be all the rage.) |
Taxpayers, shmaxpayers,
potsmokers don’t deserve being compared to the folks who imbibe. Harmless fun’s all it is. Things would be different if cannibis lobbyists knew whom to bribe. [This message has been edited by Roger Slater (edited January 08, 2003).] |
Microscopes Telescopes
prysms and eyeglasses, everyone here has their own point of view. Three thousand members will never see eye to eye. Let's just write poetry. Sound good to you? |
Sounds good Sharon, but I had this ready just before I hit refresh...
Politics… Frolitics… Master poetasters in argumentation of liberty’s high – ranking officials’ lack- luster, shy-lobbyists, heterogeneous numbers that lie… ------------------ zz [This message has been edited by zbaby (edited January 08, 2003).] |
Telescopes Microscopes
eyeglasses prisms it would be a dull world with the same point of view Discussing them metrically practicing dactyllics writing our poetry was what we were do ing *grin* You'd have loved the next one, though - it was a tear-jerker. [This message has been edited by Jerry Glenn Hartwig (edited January 08, 2003).] |
Eyeglasses Highclasses
dactyl practitioners loving the art that they patiently do doubly delirious debates on decorum wit interjected at end of S2 ------------------ zz [This message has been edited by zbaby (edited January 08, 2003).] |
dactylic diplomat
Zita-our-zbaby calming the waters when crap gets too deep Lord, how I wish you would please change that signature I always think that you've fallen asleep [This message has been edited by Jerry Glenn Hartwig (edited January 08, 2003).] |
| All times are GMT -5. The time now is 11:54 AM. |
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.