He smirked as he undid her bra,
but it led to his being a pa-
rody. Him a great lover? Ha, ha!

The One Obstacle to His Only True Love

The thought of her made him go limp;
He must, oh, he must, win the imp-
lied approval of Peter, her pimp.

Into the arena , with scowling demeanor
She flounced- and began to berate
the Bare-blower’s kisses
his friend and his misses
that shoveled it up on a plate.

Nicktom is as bad; forget he’s a lad
With a bollic-king coming his way
Send him straight to the river
make him stand and deliver
And bring in a new measure of play

And the tailor who stitches-- makes pant-
aloon britches come down at a drop of a hat
Looks over her shoulder much braver and bolder
That him in the hat did his shat----erring stuff ..

yip yip! Doing that crash dance..

No Mercy

Little Boy Blue,
come blow your horn!
The bear's in the meadow,
j/h in the corn,
and a couple of sheep
have descended to porn.

So where is the chicken
who wanted to cheep?
He's in the gazebo
fast asleep.

CT

Yup yup yup


Corn powder was falling and I was there
http://www.ablemuse.com/erato/ubbhtml/biggrin.gif as baby boy blue up his horn
His back now in traction
you can guess my reaction
lets just say I weathered his thorn

I loveee cheep rimeies

Descended? Dear Carol,
Say that at your peril
A world without porn would be sterile!

Ruth amid alien corn
Was I without porn
But now my libido's reborn.

(Or should I have said resurrected?)
And had you reflected
And clearly inspected

This (set in a his n'
hers maxi-security prison)
You would have said "risen."

Porn and sheep you must be joking
a sheep shagging movie I never did see
Though I must say it was very thought provoking
and have invited the sheep to come over for tea

Gabriëlle Joy Eleonora

------------------
butterflies and melting chocolate,
fiery storm-winds, moody madness and silly fairy-tales....
a time to love, a time to dance and a time to write

ooooh
ewe

[This message has been edited by nyctom (edited January 18, 2002).]

<u>Camel Fever</u>

Riding any kind of mammal
with humps or lumps or bumps,
not only leads to trouble
and scars on people's rumps

- this kind of lewd behaviour
is not merely frowned on,
in deepest, darkest Arabia
your head will roll and bound on,

past the watching Faithful,
past the mesjeed door,
past the waiting goalie
- noone cheers you as you score.

You people really are quite sick
to talk of sheep and camel http://www.ablemuse.com/erato/ubbhtml/redface.gif!
What's next from you fair formalists
Gorillas in the Sultry Mist?

I've never seen a purple cow,
But ever if I see one,
I really cannot disavow
'Twill stiffen up my wee one.

mish-aiku:

scientists agree
to those with a love of bee-
fhearts, the odor's wee.

PECCADILLO ROMANO

The first time that I saw her wool
I must say I was smitten.
Lustrous tufts, so beautiful.
I pictured scarves and mittens.

But then I watched her wooly gait
as she walked through the barn
and found it hard to concentrate
on just her lovely yarn.

Oh Dolly! I must have your clone!
I will be gentle as a sheep.
Every lamb-chop needs a bone.
I'll never leave you like Bo Peep!

Pax vobiscum
sad merino:
you know I think
you are just keeno!

And gee, I love you,
keen merino!
Will you be
my valentino?

(music)

He'll deceive you, fair merino,
pull the wool before your eyes,
trying to make sure you see no
wolf inside a sheep's disguise.

He only wants your cheese, merino,
to grate upon his hot lasagna.
With me, I promise, there will be no
exploitation. Word of honor!

REPENT!

The Lord above will surely damn
the lion lying with the lamb

if the Jungle King, his Highness,
lies with the lamb as he lies with the lioness.

the Lamb of God

To save our souls from being damned
He gave his only begotten Son
that through the blood of the Lamb
the penalty for our sins can be undone
Therefore Christians all cry out
Worthy is the Lamb to be praised
Therefore Christians proceed to shout
He lives, from the dead He was raised
Worthy is the Lamb, for He was slain
and through His precious blood
salvation can be obtained
and man become children of God

Gabriëlle Joy Eleonora

Our souls would not need to be saved
if God had not made them depraved.
So God's to blame if people lay
a bit too close to Agnus Dei.

Taht lion lies with lamb
Struck Darwin as a scam.
Such unions can't be fruitful
But when he'd had a snootful
He thought this mesalliance
A breakthrough in his science
How else explain the origin of Spam?




[This message has been edited by ChrisW (edited January 19, 2002).]

My daddy was a lion,
my mommy was a lamb,
and I'm their mixed-breed scion.
Just call me Spam-I-Am.

It's a piece-able kingdom, indeed,
when the lion and lamb interbreed.
I think God's intention
was lack of contention,
not the breaking of rules He'd decreed.

Agnus Dei is my favorite song
that I often sing all the day long
and like the angels I then cry
Glory to God Almighty

Because I know God loves this song
even when my day's been long
before I sleep I always sigh
Glory to God Almighty

If you my friend also know this song
please join in and sing along
we'll lift our voices to the sky
and sing Glory to God Almighty


Gabriëlle Joy Eleonora

Bear,

If God were omnipotent, truly,
then why would He dawdle unduly?
He'd end all contention
before we could mention
He's letting his creatures act cruelly.

[This message has been edited by Roger Slater (edited January 18, 2002).]

God is omnipotent, truly
and has never dawdled unduly
He has given us time
to repent from our crime
by accepting His Son who died cruelly



[This message has been edited by joyeleonora (edited January 18, 2002).]

On earth we experience hell
when someone with something to sell
like Jesus or mints
refuses our hints
to kindly stop ringing the bell.

This thread called for "rhymed repartee,"
but you do not banter, you pray.
Instead of a prayer
I wish you would share
some rhymes in the spirit of play.

My friend I have nothing to sell
and the only thing I have to give
are words that I know how to spell
such as sheep, screw and forgive

I conclude that you are of Lamb
not as fond as I am
therefore we must try
a new subject - why,
we'll talk no more of sheep but of ducks
Gabriëlle Joy Eleonora

[This message has been edited by joyeleonora (edited January 18, 2002).]

Thank heaven for the joyeleonoras.
We could use someone praying for us.
Now that these rams have risen to porn,
Gabrielle, come blow your horn.

Screw and forgive! What a line!
To do either one is divine.
Whichever you pick
it helps with the trick
to drink a big chalice of wine.

I prefer my whine to be white
screw around I do only at night
poetry mind you
is the only thing I srew
around with when I write
after all that has been said
it is time I'm I'm off to bed
it's almost 3:00 am, good night!

Gabriëlle Joy Eleonora

Since Clary first posted the "mishy-phen"
(a form rather much like a squishy fen,
BANNED POSTBANNED POSTand a treacherous one to explore)
it's been lost in a swamp of theology.
My taste for such quirks of philology
BANNED POSTBANNED POSTis starving--a state I abhor.

I've appealed to the staff of this medium
to help me break free of the tedium . . .
BANNED POSTBANNED POST(Please, I intend no offense,
but it's hellishly hard on the Web, you see
--like jackhammers making like Debussy--
BANNED POSTBANNED POSTto triple rhyme still making sense.)

I digress. My request is a modest one,
and certainly far from the oddest one
BANNED POSTBANNED POSTthat's ever been asked in this place.
Might there please be a separate filament
for verses that wear the habiliment
BANNED POSTBANNED POSTof mishy-phen form, wit, and grace?

I'm hooked on this word-splitting ritual
and fear it will soon be habitual;
BANNED POSTBANNED POSTdoes anyone share this disease?
If so, will you practice your levity
(with maybe a scruple more brevity)
BANNED POSTBANNED POSTand second my asking it, please?

Jan



[This message has been edited by Jan D. Hodge (edited January 19, 2002).]

"It's a piece-able kingdom, indeed,
when the lion and lamb interbreed.
I think God's intention
was lack of contention,
not the breaking of rules He'd decreed."

My friend, if you take this in context,
and don't manufacture a subtext,
you'll find it a witty
attempt at a ditty
exploring some biblical subjects.

(music)

<u>Squirrels</u>

There's nothing much tastier than squirrels,
they're something I could chew on all night,
those tasty but furry exteriors,
and hazlenuts in every bite.

I eat them for breakfasts and luncheons,
I take a couple of handfuls to work,
they're delicious with mayo or ketchup,
and the squeaking's a fabulous perk.

They get more attention than corn-snacks
- I'm expecting some guests just next week -
some people from Small Mammal Helpline
who'll give me my desserts, magnifique!

Funny thing about the squirrel's fate
over here in these United States,
Some will raise them up as pets--it's true
while others serve them up in road kill stew.

Off Road

When I was a kid we ate squirrel with dumplings,
and it was delicious, first bite to the last.
As poor as we were, we could always eat something;
we raised our own garden in good old days past.
We had jack rabbit, venison, duck, and wild turkey,
shot with a 12 gauge, but road kill? Not hardly.
It wasn't our pride--we just didn't get lucky.
Our Model T never could travel that fast.

Carol Taylor

A Comment on the Plethora of Bestiality Poems
Inhabiting This Thread


If Noah and his animals
all screwed as much as you've implied,
the Ark they sailed would've filled and sank
long before the oceans dried.

I can't believe what I'm about to say,
but Tom, the perk of inter-species play:
No pregancies to get in Cupid's way!

(I think I'm gonna need three showers today.)

As Ginger likes her verses meaty,
here's three for which I beg entreaty
that if you seek bovine release
don't make it known to the police.

No child, no sprog, no progeny
for love of passion vetinary.


The Scots like the freedom that kilts bring
especially when sheep have a kip,
for ovines have very good hearing
and will run at the rip of a zip.


<u>My Love Doth Ku</u>


My love and I, we used to meet
in moonlit fields of hoary beet,
and there I swore in frosted breath
to never part until my death,
and so be lovers unto the dawn
when I would trudge away forlorn.

Six nights to love and one for rest,
my head upon her milky breast,
I talked of love that never died
and soft she listened, but never cried.
Her huge brown eyes, they stared to mine
and gentle lips and ears divine

ne'er eased my pangs of violent love.
Then, as I gave a throaty shove,
there came a figure from on high
- it was her mother - O let me die!
Imagine my great and awful woe,
In flagrante delicto,

stuck in a field of hoary beet
with soggy trousers at my feet.
My shame was much too much to bear
and dare her mother's icy stare,
So looking down, I squeaked, "D...do...?",
But all she did was bellow "Mooo!"



[This message has been edited by Nigel Holt (edited January 19, 2002).]

What a delight, to come back to Erato
and read through a thread such as this!
My apologies for the long absence -- although
it may prove longer still:
my computer's been ill.
I've had hours of hold-music bliss
with the tech-support folks, who can't tell what's amiss.

Little wonder I've missed you!
Where else can one read through
a series in rhyme
(some straight up, some askew)
both divine and bovine
and taboo?

Fellow 'Spherians, I shall return
when my system will no longer spurn
my attempts to link up to the 'Net.
Wish me luck. I may kill someone yet,
if the techies don't show more concern!!!

My Internet connection went awry.
I rang the techie hotline, got some kid
who sounded like he'd been up half the night
with several ounces of Jamaica's best.

He ran me through configurations I
had checked and double-checked. But still, I did
it all again. He said "They seem all right"
and didn't have a lot else to suggest.

The problem, it transpired, wasn't mine
but theirs. Their servers balked at the amount
of folk online. I'd paid out 50 pence
a minute just for talking to this dope.

When ISPs say everything is fine
their end, it's time to cancel your account.
For "techie" read "a prat, no common sense".
For "tech support" read "money for old rope".

"Old rope" you say?
You said it twice.
You know what folks are thinkin'?

They've all surmised
you're bondage-prone
and surely must be drinkin'!