Is Byron a character? I guess those who knew him would say so . . .

Byron, To Auden

Dear Wystan (is it Wystan? Is it Hugh?)
Thanks for your letter dated ‘thirty-six.
I’ll own, I’d have preferred a billet-doux,
accompanied by those referenced naked pics,
from some fair thing—still, nice to hear from you.
Before I get to art or politics,
let me explain and then apologize
for this, the most belated of replies.

In Purgatory, as Virgil first explained,
one wears one’s designated wreath—he, an
old laurel—me, some thorny, brown thing. Pained
to find such rules here, I conspired Promethean
revolt, though, as in Greece, I nothing gained.
But, being dead (and bled) already, Lethean
mail service was denied me for a spate,
and that’s why this arrives so late.

I like you, Hugh, so please forgive my screed,
but, God damn, man! Icelandic travelogues
won’t ever make a really ripping read
when mixed with duller parts from catalogs
and diaries. Hugh, you’re gifted, I concede,
but you’ve an eye out for the pedagogues.
If you can’t be a little more rake-helly,
please send your future posts to P.B. Shelley.

He undoubtedly was, Frank, but not 'a character from a well-known poem' as far as I'm aware.

Hello, I'm Philip Larkin's dad.
There's nothing that he said that's true.
My son may have the faults I had,
But he has many virtues, too.

He's educated, super smart,
And famous for the verse he wrote.
In that I think I played a part.
He never thanked me or took note.

Mums and dads may raise a son
Whose books adorn a scholar's shelf,
And yet, when all is said and done,
His sole obsession is himself.

Alluding to a character from a well-known poem.

Right on target, Bob! Nice one.

Jayne, This one should get past your new "Cerberus" persona, I reckon --

Straight from the Horse's mouth

God knows what came over Diana.
She damn nearly gave me a fit
As she fished down my throat with a spanner
When she thought that I’d swallowed my bit.

She’s a talentless, spoilt little owner
Though the Pony Club think she’s a pearl.
I’m an obstinate, cussed old loner,
A bad tempered, vengeful old churl.

I was dragged to the Ring without pity.
I was not even asked how I felt.
I was simply supposed to look pretty
And take every fence at full pelt.

“Now here’s young Diana on Moonbeam,”
Said a voice on a loud microphone.
She’s the cream of our Pony Club Show Team.”
I thought, “Sod it. I want to go home.”

For I hadn’t got over the spanner
And my girth was pulled terribly tight.
“Break a leg,” said a girl to Diana.
And I thought to myself, “She just might.”

But I minded my thoroughbred manners
And we won with our clearest round yet.
But I haven’t forgotten the spanner;
So I’ve eaten her Winner’s rosette.

What's causing all the featherspitting here is the conviction that the narrator of a first-person poem is not a character therein. If this is truly how the land lies, then I stand chastened and corrected. Mine wasn't created for this competition - it's a Speccie reject which some others may remember - but I must admit I thought it reflected Frost's homely application to the tasks incumbent upon the rural dweller... Still, 'nuff said.

But I really must plead for Frank's entry. Byron is surely a character in Auden's letter thereunto and the result is a cracking good poem that I suspect the Lit Rev people may very well enjoy.

I think we're going to have to read between the lines a bit on this one.

Cerberus, Martin? Moi? Ouch.

Straight from the Horse's mouth is brilliant, both title and content.

Frank and Ann,

It's probably a good idea to tell them which poem is being alluded to, don't you think? Frank's is indeed a good 'un but the well-known poem i.e. Auden's letter, eluded me to begin with, and I'm not sure which John's refer to either. Duh! It's To a Mouse. (I must get more sleep - it's affecting my brain :o) Isn't that just a parody, though, as well?

And how do you define 'well-known'? Mine's based on 'Abou Ben Adhem' and I've met people who've never heard of it, though I'd call it well-known.

I just wish they'd defined the comp a bit better, that's all. The 'character' bit is somewhat open to interpretation, as you say.

"Just a parody"? Story of my life...

One more -- and my last! Actually I have 50-100 of this sort of thing, enough for a fat book if only some of the likely publishers would accept uninvited submissions.

Game, Set and Match!

I was Joan Hunter Dunn, your Joan Hunter Dunn
whose ardour soon cooled in the Aldershot sun.
For your tennis was poor and your idea of fun
was to sit in the car park till twenty to one
without your attempting the slightest attack
on my baseline defence. So I gave the ring back,
having realised that, married, we’d spend all our time
with you counting stresses and searching for rhyme.
But a suntanned young Aldershot goddess has needs
and mine were not little rhymed verses, but deeds.
So I married another, more dashing, instead
who was better than you at both tennis and bed.
And now you’re long dead while I’m still having fun;
so it’s game set and match to Miss Joan Hunter Dunn.

No poem is well-known, if you define that as being a poem most people know. I should say 'The Good Ship Venus' is the only well-known poem by those criteria. That and 'Mary had a little lamb'.

My mouse poem is a REPLY to Burns, not a parody. The stanza is known as 'the Burns stanza' because Burns is the best known poet who used it. But he didn't invent it, he got it from Robert Fergusson, and many other poets have used it since. Including me.