I also want to weigh in for the second of the two, especially the last stanzas.
Easy-peasy and the play on Duffy are fun! Perhaps fix the line with ""in celebration of" instead of "to celebrate" if you can make it work metrically. Good luck with it.

Ah, I see what Jerome means by 'broken-backed' now!

Thanks very much, Susan. I'll try to think of something while I'm out shopping (in the rain :().

Whew, that' s a relief, Jayne, in accord with the DR J. of D & A, not to mention the voice of the Netherlands.

COD says (also State) (attrib.) 'of, for, or concerned with the Stateand gives the example State documents, but also has 'reserved for or done on occasions of ceremony' (state apartments; state visit) and 'involving ceremony' (state opening of Parliament).

So probably should be state.

You've got state occasion and then later on state occasions. Maybe something like 'grand occurrence' instead of the first state occasion, or something apter?

I think I'm more of a spin-doctor than a spine-doctor.

.

Jayne,
I concur with the others that the second version is much funnier.

Susan

My sources in heaven aver
That Britain's where angels prefer,
When they are allowed
To climb down from their cloud,
To spread out their wings, as it were.

As monarchies go, Britain's best,
Because it's all done now in jest.
They don't get to rule,
But their outfits are cool,
And we're proud they're expensively dressed.

And so, on this marvelous day,
Let us celebrate, each in his way,
As we ponder the task
That's before us, and bask
In the sight of our royals at play.