Nice work on Hamlet's soliloquy, Roger. Your second line is more cool in one's head than mine. But isn't your third line a foot short?

Yeah, I may need to put "and slings" into it. In moving to monosyllables, I figured I shouldn't just automatically take the monosyllables that Shakespeare used in the original but modernize the language just a bit so long as I was messing with it. (But it doesn't really matter, since it will never appear anywhere outside this thread).

What you could do, Roger, is to suggest it to Lucy as a subject for a competition and then enter it. It works for some folks.

I have suggested it to Lucy myself. We shall see what comes of the suggestion ;)

Roger, that's an intriguing idea. I suppose one might go for a terse (but paradoxically also longwinded!) telegraphic style, simply omitting those commonplace short words.
If your idea too draws interest, may we best begin a separate thread - 'Polysyllabic' (and, as has been suggested, not restrict it to re-writes but invite also fresh material) ?

Meanwhile, you've got me thinking:

Future alternatives: being, non-being? Myself, pondering:
Nobler, perhaps, mindfully suffering
Slingsful - quiversful! - comprising outrageous misfortunes?
Otherwise, maybe arming oneself against selfsame oceanic troubles -
Opposing militantly, thereby ending aforesaid hardships? Dying: sleeping;
Ceasing! Sleeping, supposedly ending
Heartache - also (conceivably) ending thousand shocking natural hazards
Mortal bodies inherit? Consummation
Devoutly desirable! ...