Oh Eastern-Blowing Wind

Oh eastern-blowing exhalation of the air movement personified by Zephyrus,
Would you kindly give an estimate of when you will arrive and cause precipitation?
In the name of the Saviour embraced by those who believe in Christian principles,
The thought of being home in bed with my lover fills me with anticipation.

That's a good one Roger (the Larkin, I mean - a new one popped up while I was posting.)

The last line could perhaps be more prolix.

Thanks, Brian. I was wondering about making the last line more prolix, but I thought maybe by the last line, with all that prolixity already in the bank, it would possibly be funnier to end with something crisper. I'll think on it.


(Ogden Nash -- candy is dandy)

Chocolate often works, but all in all,
Seduction is more successful with alcohol.

Or -

Although a box of luscious chocs may give the putative seducer a most effective tried-and-tested leverage,
The chances are that you will far more expeditiously induce her by offering an alcoholic beverage.

Oh - excellent, Brian. Pompous, prolix and pointed.

Like the Larkin, Roger. Now this IS a poem.

The Grand Old Duke of York

Great York, whose strength was still the strength of ten,
Directed, with all military splendour,
Of infantry and horse, ten thousand men;
To serve him faithfully was their agenda.

Up on a mountain high, this mighty band
Stood marshalled, section by impressive section,
Till, at his strident bellow of command
They thundered in the opposite direction,

And gathered in the valley, blest and balmy,
Manly, mustachioed, magnificent,
Royal Eboracum's majestic army,
As bold as brass, whichever way they went;

In mounting or descending, night and day,
Exquisite in their transit, so to say.

Or elongated,the better to represent the original's last two lines:

The Grand Old Duke of York

Great York, whose strength was still the strength of ten,
Directed, with all military splendour,
Of infantry and horse, ten thousand men;
To serve him faithfully was their agenda.

Up on a mountain high, this mighty band
Stood marshalled, section by impressive section,
Till, at his strident bellow of command
They thundered in the opposite direction,

And gathered in the valley, blest and balmy,
Manly, mustachioed, magnificent,
Royal Eboracum's majestic army,
As bold as brass, whichever way they went,

Inscrutably, ineffably serene,
In mounting or descending, night and day,
Yin-yang, Yang-yin, and somewhere in between,
Exquisite in their transit, so to say.

Sterling stuff, John, although I miss 'when they were only half-way up, they were neither up nor down'. Perhaps you could get it in if you replaced the final couplet by a quatrain?

Oddly enough, I'd been thinking of 'doing' the Duke, but other things intervened.

I thought 'exquisite in their transit' id the trick, but perhaps it doesn't. As you say, I've two more lines to spare.

There are relatively few reported incidences of persons of the masculine gender electing to initiate licentious conversation
With persons of the feminine gender whose eyesight is deemed sufficiently inadequate to require lenticular rectification.

Satisfyingly pompous and prolix, Rob, but can you work in a few internal rhymes?