Eratosphere

Eratosphere (https://www.ablemuse.com/erato/index.php)
-   Drills & Amusements (https://www.ablemuse.com/erato/forumdisplay.php?f=30)
-   -   Speccie buttoned up or open neck by 9th October (https://www.ablemuse.com/erato/showthread.php?t=21420)

John Whitworth 09-29-2013 02:41 AM

Naw. It won't work as Free Verse. Mind you, nothing much does. The Spectator on line seems to think thatTed Hughes is a champion of free verse. Blind ignorance perhaps?

Would Ogden Nash count as free verse? One could do an Ogden Nashery.

Brian Allgar 09-29-2013 03:36 AM

John, I'm thinking after all of using your "sapphically" instead of the original imperfect rhyme "dogmatically". Of course, it could be objected that sapphics aren't free verse, but I might get away with it. What do you think?

"Free verse", said the Poetess sapphically,
"Is the bees' knees", and smiled seraphically.
But it gets up my nose, for it’s really just prose
That’s been buggered about typographically.

Needless to say, this wipes out the entire trillion that you owed me.

(And yes, this is actually a limerick, but I had to combine 2 lines to stay within the overall 16-line limit.)

P.S. Ogden Nash? But he rhymes and (somewhat) scans all over the place!

Graham King 09-29-2013 03:40 PM

Removed to avoid 'prior publication'

Roger Slater 10-01-2013 06:18 PM

Though some say free verse is sublime
(and I have to admit I like Whitman),
the fact of the matter is most of the time
I don't really like it one bit, man,

precisely because it is true what they say
that the poet of free verse has freedom
to share all his thoughts in a straightforward way,
but I do not enjoy them or need 'em.

I'd much rather see what a poet can make.
If it doesn't have music, I'd rather
cut off my ears or go jump in a lake
than listen to free-flowing blather.

John Whitworth 10-01-2013 07:58 PM

Brian, I hesitate to say it, but isn't the second line a syllable short? Perhaps 'and beamed quite...'

I was thinking of Ogen's rhyming lines of variable length. But they're not free, since they rhyme. Mcgonnegal (however he is actually spelt)?

Douglas G. Brown 10-01-2013 08:43 PM

If you want your work remembered, make it scan;
Compose it on a solid metric plan.
Although free verse today is highly prized,
You’ll find vers libre is rarely memorized.

If you want your poems quoted, make ’em rhyme;
It pays to take a little extra time
To make the endings of your latest ditty
Chime in a manner critics praise as witty.

You should also try to make your readers smile,
Even if you think it isn’t worth your while;
Buffoonery provides a pleasant tingle
That resurrects the most insipid jingle.

But if you find this guidance way too tough;
Or, mentally, you’re never bright enough
To figure out a decent rhyme and meter,
Then get a job at Wal-Mart as a greeter.

Brian Allgar 10-02-2013 03:57 AM

John, I hear 'smiled' as one of those words that can be pronounced as one or (almost) two syllables - in this case, 'smi-aled'. But I'll consider a possible replacement. 'Simpered'? 'Sniggered'? No, I think it would be hard to do either of those seraphically.

Peter Goulding 10-02-2013 05:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brian Allgar (Post 300162)

"Free verse", said the Poetess sapphically,
"Is the bees' knees", and smiled seraphically.
But it gets up my nose, for it’s really just prose
That’s been buggered about typographically.

Brian, (and like John I hesitate to question a master of rhyme) it appears that in the first two lines, the Poetess is praising free verse, and in the last 2 / 3 damning it? Rather than 'the bees knees' should it not be more pejorative? And then exchange the 'But' for a 'For' in L3...
Plus the last two lines need quotation marks?

Brian Allgar 10-02-2013 07:39 AM

Peter, I think you're confusing the wretched Poetess with the 'I'. She is praising it in inverted commas. I am damning it (and her) with none. Perhaps it would be clearer like this?

"Free verse", said the Poetess sapphically,
"Is the bees' knees", and simpered seraphically.
But it gets up my nose, for it’s really just prose
That’s been buggered about typographically.

Susan McLean 10-02-2013 09:04 AM

When trying for a rhyme with -aphically, I tend to find that -athically works well: e.g., psychopathically, telepathically, polymathically, etc.

Susan


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 06:58 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.