My silhouetted form, obese and bald,
Augmented by a fruity English slur
Secured me worldwide fame. I have been called
The cinema’s pre-eminent auteur,
Epitomising what François Truffaut
Respected most; an individual voice,
Original and bold. I ran the show:
Found scripts to film, approved each casting choice,
Saw to it every picture’s mise-en-scène
Upheld the mood I wanted. I was fond,
So very fond, of having guiltless men
Plus pretty women (preferably blonde)
Entangled in intrigues. I played on doubt,
Not payoffs, as I regularly stressed.
Surprise is not what drama is about.
Explosions blow it; ticking bombs are best...

It's a pity that the plural would spoil the rhyme, otherwise line 12 might have had a pleasing (and truthful) double-entendre as:

(And fonder still of having pretty blondes) ...

I'm still not sure that the last three lines are as good as the rest, nor that a competition judge in a hurry will spot the acrostic without the bold typeface.

I'm still working on it. It's nowhere near as good as it should be considering the time I've spent. Acrostics are a bloody pain-I shall try and remember that in future.

Ooops! Yes, when I suggested that line, I had already forgotten the acrostic requirement.

I know, Rob. Try anagrams - call it idiotic loopiness!


(Oh, blast! You changed your original post while I was working on the above. Well, I'm not starting again!)

Brian, I think that your friends in the Sphere are going to have to stage an intervention and cart you off to Anagrams Anonymous.

Modest of you, Rob; but I can't see any way to improve it, myself!
(By which of course I mean that it's terrific - not bad beyond rescue!)

You're very kind, Graham, but I'm really not so sure.

Well... looking at your latest version, now I might suggest inserting a comma after 'intrigues' in L13, and in L16 having a semi-colon rather than the comma.
To me, it seems that would ease reading of it, especially on first sight.

Thank you Graham, I think you're absolutely right. I've never been very good on the usage of colons and semi-colons. This is what you get for going to drama school instead of a proper university, I'm afraid to say.