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-   -   Sonnet 6 - Streetlight (https://www.ablemuse.com/erato/showthread.php?t=22893)

David Anthony 05-12-2014 05:26 AM

Atmospheric terza rima sonnet. I like the way the opening line is also the closing.
Reminds me of Frost's Acquainted With the Night.
Enjoyed.

Catherine Chandler 05-12-2014 06:35 AM

I had the same reaction as Michael Cantor, i.e., the last two lines sound like they were added on to sonnetize the poem.

I also think the similarities to Poe, Eliot and Frost actually work against any sense of originality one might accord to the poem.

I also take issue with "late for appointment". I always want to hear "an", "the", "his", "her", etc.

I would prefer "sometimes come" over "come sometimes".

The Nothing Is In Store is clever.

Overall, enjoyed.

R. Nemo Hill 05-12-2014 07:24 AM

I don't have much enthusiasm for this. I can puzzle out the apparent contradiction that Maryann points out here...

My confusion is with different details: does the shade get in, or not? "Inside the doorway" conflicts with that unanswered door and that unrelenting lock.

...but in a poem this short I think the need to work out the logistics of the scenario is a waste of precious time.

All in all the scene seems too much of a stock one, the language too expected, and there is no pay-off at all. For me a sonnet is first and foremost a contained poem, and this one seems more like an introduction to something longer. The sonnet's sense of compression is missing here, and the arc of thought and description seems too languid for the form. In an effective sonnet I could imagine this entire poem taking up about two lines.

Nemo

Rob Wright 05-12-2014 08:43 AM

I'm with Michael and Catherine; the last two lines do seem tacked-on. And Nemo is right, there is no payoff. Unlike Michael, however, the abundance of adjectives did not trouble me — at least on the first reading. And the bits of rocky meter were a jarring in the otherwise smooth iambics.

Eileen Cleary 05-12-2014 11:09 AM

I found myself inserting narrative to this piece. Realizing that there aren't enough clues to warrant it, my mind wants to believe Shakespeare is going back to rattle the Globe's doors and witness the unread papers on the floor. Of course there are more than a thousand nights he's been gone,more than a thousand pages and his plays are still on stage, but that is what the poem conjured up for me anyway.There is a lot of evidence that this is not what the poem is about. I like the mystique of the poem and it's music the moving light and shade, but something is not satisfying as a reader. I like to contemplate poems but I can't sink my teeth into this one.

stephenspower 05-12-2014 03:34 PM

Favorite so far
 
This is my favorite so far. I can't be literal in any reading, so I'm willing to give myself up to the weird moodiness.

That line "Nothing Is In Store" is amazing. I have to think the poem was inspired by an actual sign that said that.

Whether the last two lines were tacked onto a 12-liner or not, I'm a sucker for that type of repetition, as I've noted before. It gives the poem a certain timelessness.

Rick Mullin 05-15-2014 08:18 PM

This has its soft spots.... The Yank in me definitely wants "an appointment" in line four. But this has a pleasant classical suspense creep sonnet of the 18th century feel to it. Yes, I see globelights every day, but they are suggestions of an earlier time, as is this sonnet. This will be my number 2 vote!

RM

Christy Reno 05-18-2014 10:00 PM

I actually like the atmospheric quality of the poem. It's different than the "The Hoarder" which pulls me in immediately, but this one had a quality that I admired enough to read several times as well and still find something I enjoyed.

It could be interpreted as a dream; it seems too surreal in quality to be real yet not far from subconscious wanderings.

As far as the "late for appointment," I might not have noticed it at first but have read enough British work to discern that it wasn't a grammatical error.

I actually like the streetlight referred to a "globe." "Outside the circle [...] of the globe [...] streetlight, if dissected seem to give the poem a sense of detachment from the beginning, and the atmosphere is sustained throughout. There was never a mention of a moon here, so I read it as a scene with a new moon or globe streetlight as almost a symbol for a full moon.

I like the overall sonics of the poem, and the overall meter has been a lot less bumpy than most of the first 6 sonnets, and the handling of the meter doesn't bother me as much as it did with the first 4.

I somehow get the feeling with the competent use of sound, atmosphere, and obscure (but okay to my ears) rhyme scheme, that this is no amateur poet.

The use of the modifiers don't bother me. I think the poet has deliberately chosen them for effect.

As for L13 and L14, and the debate about whether the poet has added the lines just to make it a sonnet is still open, but I also think that the intention was to come to full circle and not a dead end. To me, the atmosphere and intention would not feel right coming to a close at "Nothing is in Store." IT could, but in the opening, we have several specific articles. NM. I don't remember how I was going to tie this in, but I thought "thousandth street" and "thousandth night" might bring the poem more to a full circle.

Definitely a placeholder until I read the other half of them.


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