Adrian, this line alone ought to put you in the winner's circle

As an attempt at introducing some new blood into these pastiche-based competitions (and hoping Lucy knows the tune) how about :--

Leonard Cohen Champions Laughter

Like a clown at a fair
Like a punctured whoopee cushion on a chair
I have tried in my way to get laughs.

If I have learnt one simple thing from life
It's that laughter can take all the heat from strife

But though I know laughter's king
Each song I'm ever heard to sing
Comes out too depressing by half

I sang a song I thought might make the listeners smile
One begged, No more like that It's not your style
And a woman dressed up all in black
Cried, Hey you bum I want my money back

Like a clown at a fair
Like a punctured whoopee cushion on a chair
I am waiting in vain to get laughs