Oh come, Nico. Cameron looks far more like a Nazi, fair, fat, beefy with nasty little eyes

I learned all I know from the man, NF,
where he taught me at the school for the deaf.
He was a matriculating type
who toked a calabash pipe–
I never heard of him giving NF.

The policies framed by Farage?
Smoke and mirrors and wind, by and large,
With a dash of the Goony
And M. Raving Loony.
God knows what he'd do if in charge.

[This triple limerick was my unsuccessful entry to NS #2319 'accent' (closing date 9 Apr 2014). As a reminder, the comp brief is below.]


As MEP Nigel Farage
Endures an outrageous barrage
Of brickbats and boos,
Something curious ensues,
To which this small verse pays hommage.

He receives a sharp blow on the head
Which for five days confines him to bed.
Imagine his shock!
The result of this knock
Is he wakes sounding Belgian instead.

And so, in the course of one week,
Europe hears him reverse all the cheek
That he formerly spoke
As an Englander bloke:
‘Zut alors! Comment j'adore Belgique !’


[No 4319
By Leonora Casement
In 2011, George Michael awoke from a coma, following a bout of pneumonia, suffering from foreign accent syndrome and speaking with a “vague Bristolian accent” that lasted for two days. He commented that the medical staff were “afraid I’d have it for life”. There have been reported cases of an Englishwoman who spoke with a French accent, an American with a British accent, a Yorkshireman with an Irish accent and another British man with a Russian accent. We want to know what could happen to a well-known person speaking in a very different accent.]

Graham, your Farage limericks are apt and funny.

Nigel F. and his odd troupe of trolls
Are beginning to slip in the polls.
Let us hope that this trend
Will continue, and end
With them reaching not one of their goals.